struggling for something to say to you

this could be anywhere
dont know if it stopped or started raining
try to stay ahead but i know theyre always gaining
trying to put chips in my brain
connect me up to the mainframe

so i go and crash in the fast lane
close my eyes, push the button, wait for the pain
not so clever
not as dumb as i act
not as smart as i look
maybe i read too many books
maybe i just need a good fuck
but i just had one.
and i'm a man
fully grown
waiting on my own, still scared of the phone
accident prone
too much groan and moan
get drunk and write my little poems in my little home
stay away from my own patch to roam.... my endzone

always forever
clever enough not to think
they changed the codes and i cant get home
everything makes me fucking stink
and i smell like shit
everything is bad for my teeth
avoiding the truth
i fell in love with my pain

is this the place in the film
where we look away? where we kiss? where we touch?
avoid our eyes
eyes in the trees
cant see through the dust....
trails of life
only the shadows remain
only the dust and the ash and the pain
static air...eyes
dust in your hair
is this where?
is this the part of the plot that i forgot
the bit i don't remember
last december