2005: Sarah Elizabeth Ruth Coope

It was summer 1994 when we first met, I was standing outside the Scouts Hut with my then mate Richard, waiting for it to open for Sunday school. While we were waiting, 2 little old ladies came out of the Church next door and told us that Sunday school wasn't open every week and invited us in to the Church. The two ladies introduced themselves as Doris and Sarah.
After the service was over, they said how pleased they were to have young blood in the church, and said they wouldn't mind us going back.
Well, the week after and I arrived back, not knowing that this was set to be the start of a long lasting friendship.

I went to Church for 5 years non stop, Doris & Sarah idolised me so much and I liked them, I began calling them the terrible twosome, thing is, they had no idea what I was like, I took from the collection box. I was young at the time, but I know that's no excuse and in the future, I was set to do worse. In 2001 I totally lost the plot and had a vendetta against the vicar AND the church, smashing the windows and I even set the vicar's car alight. Looking back on it now, I honestly don't know why I done these things and I am ashamed, if only the past could be changed.

In my 3rd year at church I got confirmed and by my 4th year I became a server and helped with Communion. I helped out at all the Christmas bazaars and the summer fetes, it was wicked.

I left church in 1999 due to Sunday morning football, but I still kept in contact with Sarah, Doris & Tom, amongst others, and why not, I had good memories and there was no way I was going to lose contact with them, I remember the first Christmas bazaar I helped with, Sarah went to get some chips and went home for lunch. When she got back to the church, she looked at me and said "Oops, I got some chips for, but I left them in the oven to keep them warm, I'll go back and get them, I told her not to and that I was alright as her house was a bit of a trek for her, but she went and got them, it was really sweet of her.

A few months after, I went round to my local shop and bumped in to Sarah, there she told me that Doris had passed away, and the funeral had already been and gone.
The terrible twosome were no more, but I kept in contact, visited & helped Sarah for many years to come, but not without letting her down.

By 2004 Sarah was quite ill, getting confused and repeating herself etc, thing was, when she came out of hospital on May 11th, I stopped visiting her, I abandoned her when she needed me, I was a cunt. I had reasons, a lot of things happened, my mum went in to hospital, I lost an Uncle I was just getting to know, I lost my mate Barry, other loved one's in and out of hospital and I just didn't want her seeing how unhappy I was.

I tried phoning Sarah in November for a while, but there was never any answer. I finally got hold of Tom, who said that she was in hospital with stomach cancer, and well, the rest you know, she spent Christmas in the dreaded Moorgreen Hospital, but by the end of the year she was improving cancer wise.

2005 was finally here, but again it was to bring one of those years, past situations repeating their selves and a friend at rest, although I did have a good time near the end of the year, sort of¦.

Just 3 days in to the New Year and history was set to be repeated, I was sexually assault by a bloke for the second time in my life. Obviously I'm not going to go in to detail as to what happened, but I trusted him, he was a mate, a DJ on the Radio for fucks sake, how gutted and fucked was I, and how could I tell anyone, who would believe that it's happened for a second time.
Once again I kept it to myself, and would you believe, I still visited Sarah, she was finally out of hospital but she couldn't go back home, she ended up in Birch Lawn which was a Nursing Home, literally half a minutes walk from her house, so it wasn't too bad and she still got taken to Church on a Sunday.

It was now the second week of April and I went to see Sarah, I knocked on her bedroom door and then walked in. She was stood in the corner of her room by the sink in her underwear, she just looked up at me and said "I'm going to bed I'm ill and then I just left. I definitely wasn't expecting that at all.

It was April 19th and History repeated itself once more, my mum had a small heart attack, exactly 5years to the day she had her first ever heart attack, and believe it or not, my Uncle Mike had one on the same day.
My brother went around telling people that my mum had faked, which wasn't true and he was saying allsorts of nasty things behind her back. It didn't really make for a happy family, I was avoiding my brother, my mum wouldn't allow my brother to come round home etc, and it was horrible.

Well, after that I stopped seeing Sarah for a while, not intentionally and I still can't explain why I never went to see her apart from that I was a cunt.

It was Sunday 29th May, a nice sunny day and I was actually helping my dad in the garden for once, not doing much, just picking up the trimmings from the hedge and sticking them in sacks.
My mum then came out with the phone for me, it was Tom Axton, as soon as I heard his voice, I knew something was wrong, he told me that Sarah had passed away on the 26th. I wanted to go upstairs and ball my eyes out, but I didn't want my parents knowing anything was wrong, so I carried on helping my dad as though nothing had happened. I kept hearing Tom's voice in my head telling me and I kept welling up, after half an hour I had to stop helping and go inside.

I just couldn't get round what happened, couldn't believe that this was it, Sarah was gone and I was left empty as hell, my longest known friend was no longer here.

Sarah's funeral was held on 7th June, she was to have a service at 10am at St Mary's Church in Sholing and then after that a service at the Crematorium.
The church funeral had to be the best service I have ever witnessed for a funeral, the coffin was decked out with lots of lovely flowers, the bells were ringing out and the church was packed. After the service I waited outside with my neighbour, who was also a friend of Sarah's, as my dad was going to come and pick her up while I got a lift to the Crematorium. Unfortunately, by the time my Dad made it, all lifts had gone, I was so gutted, I really wanted to say just one last goodbye, but I couldn't. I admit now that I'm glad I didn't go in a way, because instead of my last memories being of the dingy Crematorium, it's of the lovely church service.

I really wish I could have explained as to the reasons why I didn't see her for times, but unfortunately it's too late. It's only now that I've realised what a brilliant friend I've lost.

I dedicate this story in Loving memory to my greatest mate,
Sarah Elizabeth Ruth Coope

(God bless)