Clarissa Clegg

CLARISSA CLEGG

Clarissa Clegg is fat and funny - she overeats on bread and honey
but everyone she meets each day is sad to see her go away.
They laugh at all Clarissa's jokes - fun at her friends she NEVER
pokes
nor at the others in her life, not even that sour vicar's wife.

Clarissa flounces into town - she needs to buy a big ball gown.
One in her size she cannot find (they will not cover her behind!)

Clarissa goes back home, all quiet and makes her mind up now to
diet.
She locks the door within her room and starves herself from morn. 'til
noon.
Thereafter, just a lettuce leaf and lemon zest, instead of beef.
No more honey, bread or jam - she'd give her right arm for some
spam!

At last, the day dawns of the ball - Clarissa means to shock them
all
with her new figure, lithe and lean. Her face is scrubbed, her hair is
clean.
A brand new dress, she's made to fit - it's blue and has a split in
it
but not because she's burst a seam - spare flesh is now just a bad
dream.

Clarissa's entrance is beheld with disbelief and someone yelled
"Oh no, Miss Clegg, it can't be true! There used to be much more of
you!"

Clarissa searches for her humour, but it is gone and so the
rumour
that she has changed is proved - what's more, her friends preferred her
as before!