Blinkered sheep dense with stupidity

In an office of ‘OneTrackMind’ Advertisement Agency in London, four executives are discussing promotional options for the launch of a client's latest product. Mr Dour, who appears to be in charge, is ready to hear proposals.
'OK people, this is a tricky one so listen up. The baby we gotta push is slippers. 'Superpadder Slippers', to be exact.'
Ms Yorn leans back on her swivel chair and gasps a gasp. `Slippers? Are you serious, Gordon?'
`I'm afraid so.' said Mr Dour. `I know what you're thinking; how do we make the connection from product to consumer. But we don't employ losers here- am I right?'
`Damn right!' they all reply in unison. Following this brief rallying call, Mr Dour continues.
`Now. For the last few years the magic word has been Secks. It gave us a lot of mileage, made us a lot of money. But what makes this mission even harder is that we have a new word- and that word is Fux.'
Mr Boor nods his head in approval.
`Fux. I like it! It's got that kind of, I don't know, a kind of direction about it.'
`I agree.' said Ms Yorn, `Admittedly, Secks took us a long way, but this has much more mileage.'
Mr Dour was pleased with himself. `I thought you'd like it.' he said, `The only problem is how to relate Fux to a product like slippers. Upstairs says we've got the nod to take this one on and the whisper is if we come through, our finished article will be on every billboard and bus stop in the UK.'
The four executives ponder silently at the shiny brown table and all take a sip of mineral water from their bottles at the same time.
`Did our client actually stipulate that he wanted to relate the product to Fux, Gordon?' asked Mr Boor. On hearing this remark, the other three at the table stare with disbelief and Ms Payne is the first to rebuke him.
`Clive! Everything has to relate to fornication!'
`And Titillation!' said Ms Yorn.
'And nudity!' said Mr Dour, `Especially nudity. Sexual innuendo is itself naked without bare breasts and bums to encourage the meaning.' Mr Boor smiled subserviently and the others at the table relaxed again, satisfied he had been properly chastised. Mr Dour continued.
`So; our main problem is this: young people don't wear slippers. Christ knows it would be a wonderful world if they suddenly did, but that's fashion's fault, not ours. Old people wear slippers. It's a fact of life. Must be something to do with their feet or something. Anyway, we certainly can't advertise two wrinkly old fossils anywhere near nudity- we'd be out of business in a fortnight. What we've got to do is create a situation where wearing slippers is an OK thing. And because our new word is Fux, we've got to find some way of getting two young people in bed together. That way we've already got Fux in the programme and the public will watch that, they always do. It gets 'em in the crutch, every time. And if any of you have any ideas about having oldies in the picture, I do not want them disrobed. Understand? Youth and looks sell. Old is death. Or at least dying. The consumers are not interested in reality even if they don't know it. They want the superficial not substance. So. We are talking of the standard one image picture poster. Everything we need to say has to be on one shot. A story in a photo. OK; let's hear it.'
Mr Boor, desperate to get back in favour after his earlier inane comment, makes the first proposal.
`How about this, G.D. A young girl wakes in a cold shack on a snowy morning. She is seen taking her sleeping grandfather's Superpadders quietly from under his bed.'
'Describe said girl-' orders Mr Dour, trying to catch him out. Mr Boor looks skyward in contemplation.
`Sixteenish; tattoo on shoulder; ponytails; a little view of her breasts under her negligee as she bends down. The grandfather is of course a living skeleton on the bed, mouth agape and teeth in a glass on the bedside table.'
Mr Dour considers, over-exaggerating a pained expression.
`Like it, like it. Plenty Fux potential. I mean, who wouldn't want to do it with a sixteen year old first thing in the morning? I know I would!'
`Us too!' says Mr Boor out loud, speaking for Ms Yorn and Payne. Only Ms Payne is happy to entertain the possibility.
`We'll keep it in the freezer, Clive.' says Mr Dour. `Anything else?'
`Two Superpadder slippers screwing the shit out of each other!' voices Ms Yorn suddenly. Mr Dour allows her to elaborate, hoping her idea might not be as ridiculous as it sounds.
`What I'm seeing here is up-front, in-your-face sexuality.' she says enthusiastically, `This is innuendo killed off and sold to daydreamers. Let's get straight to the point. Give the Superpadders the features of humans as far as the design will allow it, give them each a face and have them humping for all their worth. Sure it's blatant, sure it's crude. But it's funny- and it has Fux written all over it.'
Mr Dour cuts her short, finally certain that her idea really is as ridiculous as it sounds. All turn to face Ms Payne, whose mind is already in gear. `Spanking!' she says. `It's got the old word Secks, has the new word Fux and has even that most rare of inclusions, an element of truth. Who hasn't been spanked with a slipper at some time in their lives? What is one person's punishment is another's fetish. This scenario gives us an airfield of space to play with!' Mr Dour feels himself becoming aroused while Mr Boor just feels himself.
`It's perfect.' says Mr Dour, `I can see it now; big, studdish young man over the knee of tattooed, rebellious, girl-powered babe, who exemplifies the modern sexual outlook in today's society.'
`Hey!' says Mr Boor, beginning to get carried away with all the excitement, `Why don't we have the girl over the boy's knee? Wouldn't that be even more sexy and Fuxy?'
Mr Boor's excitement fades as he recognises the familiar staring faces turning in his direction.
`No it would not!' protest all of them at exactly the same time, `That would be sexually oppressive and so un-pc!'
Mr Dour shakes his head sadly at Mr Boor. `Clive, I'm beginning to wonder if you're really cut out for this line of work...'