Ability to Go to Spain

You have taken my ability to go to Spain.
I mean, you might as well have come up behind me and sliced open the
tendons in the back of my knees with a straight razor.
Because I can't go to Spain now.
My ability to go to Spain is gone.
I invested my ability to go to Spain in you and you invested it in some
fly-by-night telecommunications company.
How could you get suckered like that?
I thought you were a professional.
But now I'll never get to Spain.
I'll never see Barcelona.
And you know how much I love Spanish architecture.
And that movie.
But nope.
Gone.
No ability to go to Spain.
If you had just waited eighteen months, we could have gone to Spain,
seen the sights, and been divorced the next day if you hated me that
much.
But you had to be a spoiled little child about it.
Pounding your fists.
Screaming.
I want it now.
Birthday be damned.
I hope you're still going to go.
You are, aren't you?!
You're gonna go on your honeymoon with Studley Nutbag.
And&;#8230;
Ewww!
Gross!
This is worse than watching my parents fuck.
Now even if I could go, I'd just be walking around and pointing.
Ahh-oww, right there!
Ohh-ughh, she left her panties.
And for that matter I can't go to strip clubs anymore.
STRIP CLUBS!
These should be the heart of my existence.
But now all the girls would look the same and I just keep waiting for
the DJ to call your name.
So you've got my ability to go to Spain and strip clubs.
Strip clubs and Spain.
You said, Fuck Pamplona.
Which sucks, because getting gored by a bull DOESN'T SOUND TOO BAD
RIGHT NOW!
I don't know the language.
You know the language.
Whatever that beautiful language it is that they speak.
They speak it all over L.A.
You've almost taken my ability to leave L.A.
I'll probably get pushed back with steamrollers when I try to leave
now.
Thanks a lot.
Now I'm gonna get stuck in this Spanish shithole-
And I'm never gonna get to Spain!
Hey, here's a deal.
We get back together just so I can go to Spain.
We don't have to have sex.
You can still bang Captain Slimesack.
But I get to go to Spain.
Okay?
Quit hogging my ability to go to Spain!
You've already got my undying love and support.
Not to mention a good deal of my sanity.
Just give me back my ability to go to Spain!
Fine.
If you're going to be greedy, there's one thing you can't take.
And when I figure out what that is I'm gonna shove it in your face and
laugh.
So long, Sucker!