The Ninja Knot Tiers

Have you ever wondered why it is if you leave an electrical
appliance anywhere unattended for any length of time, the electrical
cord associated with this electrical appliance becomes hopelessly
tangled and knotted?

And have you also ever wondered why it is when you suddenly need this
electrical appliance for whatever reason - mostly in an emergency - the
electrical cord is so tangled and knotted that there is not enough time
to untangle and untie the electrical cord, that you find yourself using
the electrical appliance in such a way as was never originally
intended?

That will be because of the Ninja Knot Tiers.

Some say it is a Japanese Urban Myth. Some say it has a scientific
basis within the realms of particle physics, chemistry, bio-chemistry,
mechanical engineering or all four. Some say the Ninja Knot Tiers don't
exist. There have been scientists and supporters conducting experiments
for years, usually in the form of Electrical Cord Observation Surveys
(ECHOS - an American acronym), which involved the experimenters sitting
awake in a room with no means of entry* waiting for the Ninja Knot
Tiers to appear. Electrical cords were inspected and they always became
tangled and knotted. And yet, no one has been able to prove their
non-existence. There is no satisfactory explanation as to why the
electrical cord gets tangled or knotted other than that of the Ninja
Knot Tiers.

(* People have never been able to figure that out.)

There was a man once, quite a young man, who wrote an article as to why
no one had considered the part people play in the management of the
electrical cord. He went on to suggest that maybe no other force beside
that of human impatience was responsible for the tangling and knotting
of the electrical cord. Furthermore, his article contained a reference
to the unspeakable 'self-fulfilling prophecy', where an individual
enters a situation expecting the worst and finds the worst. Human
accountability was dragged through question after question concerning
its significant shortcomings. All the while, critics of the man who
wrote this article, of which there were many, questioned the man's
integrity for suggesting that human beings were responsible for the
tangles and knots they found in their electrical cords. How could he
think for one minute that countless individuals shared the same trait
of having no responsibility? He must either be a fool or a brave man.
Somebody should make him pay.

As events unfolded after the publication of his article, the man, named
Thomas Bow, began to question the integrity of his editor for allowing
him to publish something so outrageously controversial. He felt certain
he'd tied a knot in this one.

"Thomas, they don't hate you."

"Yes, they do," said Thomas in reply to his editor's reply.

His editor sighed.

"Thomas, I wouldn't have put you in this position if I didn't think you
could handle it," said erstwhile Frank Jones, the editor.

"So, you admit that you've put me in a position," said Thomas
triumphantly.

"Yes. I've put you in the position that you needed to be in, and have
needed to be in for too long."

Frank paused, but only briefly.

"I've got you exposure," he breathed into the mouthpiece of the
telephone, whose cord had been tangled so much that Frank had to move
himself within three inches of the unit to make calls.

"Exposure?" said Thomas. "What kind of exposure?"

"The kind you excel in! Pressure!! Everybody wants a piece of you!!!
I've interviews on TV chat shows coming your way because you challenged
the very fabric of human nature!!!!" Frank was becoming increasingly
excited the more he spoke.

"Do they really?!" asked Thomas, becoming caught up in Frank's obvious
excitement. "Do they want to talk to me seriously?"

"Yes!!!!! They want to ask you lots of soul-searching questions!!!!!!
They want to know stuff from deep down inside you!!!!!!! They want to
know what you think about - EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!" Frank was going to have
some kind of attack.

"Do? they? r e a l l y?" Thomas let out slowly, quietly,
breathlessly.

"No. They think you're a Freak," said Frank, who promptly had a
laughing attack.

After this conversation, related by Frank Jones many times thereafter
when illustrating his point about dreams (usually in pubs by the river
with pretty girls on his arm listening to every word he spoke), Thomas
Bow went into hiding. Although, it wasn't done very well. Particularly
as Frank Jones had a list of all Thomas's usual haunts supplied by a
Private Detective who Frank had had follow him.

The press were everywhere he went for a whole seven days, until a fresh
kill-story hit the ground and the journalists disappeared. Those seven
days were a living hell; his personal life exposed for all to see with
secrets that should have remained fantasies being discussed in public,
habits that should have been counselled providing useful PR for
rehabilitation agencies. The days after those seven days weren't that
much worse.

His family couldn't bring themselves to speak to him. He couldn't bring
himself to speak to his family. His girlfriend wasn't talking to him
anyway. He had no friends anymore. He shot himself.

At the funeral Frank Jones retold his story about the conversation he
had with Thomas Bow. The congregation laughed. His eyes sparkled in the
candlelight, for although it was bright outside, inside the church it
was dark. Frank Jones had arranged it perfectly. He told the
congregation to be careful what they wished for, because in the event
they got what they wished for, what would they do then?

People's lives were restored to normal. No one questioned the continual
search for the answer to the question over the existence of the Ninja
Knot Tiers. Science has still as yet, to find proof that the Ninja Knot
Tiers do not exist. Support for the Ninja Knot Tiers grew for a time,
but then faded away into societal memory. There are still some hardened
academics that can be heard debating the myths and truths in the
corridors of certain types of university, and some idealistic students
discuss the myth once in a while, but that's about it.

However, no one really knows. One thing is certain though. The
electrical cords of the world are still prone to this day by attacks
from the Ninja Knot Tiers.