Confession is Good for the Soul (The Bible)

October may not be over, but I am so over no-spendallying. 

Was it worth it? 

Actually, it was invaluable.  (Notwithstanding ever-increasing guilt at these first-world problems).

Putting a habit boundary in place for a set period of time, is a well-known method for investigating ‘shadow side’.  Shadow isn’t necessarily negative, nevertheless, stuff comes up.  Parts of our personality we’d rather not identify with.  But also, those parts, that if we don’t own, we can’t assimilate, become whole.  The discomfort of this process leads to owning our humanity.  (And in this particular experiment, a bit less stuff).

This meant acknowledging my covetous, abandoning and spendacious behaviours, mind-numbing procrastinations that stymy creative living, and confronting sub-conscious beliefs like, ‘without my stuff, I don’t feel safe’. 

Crikey!

Also confirmed that I am a person who mistakes self-mastery disciplines with ‘rules’, and bending rules with ‘freedom’. 

During no-spendity month I paused desirable aspects of daily life; progressing DIY, sketch-booking, lino-printing, yoga, long walks, organising sellable stuff.  Was it that stressful?

Binge-watched ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ instead of continuing the fantasy-workshop story (but honestly, that is one wacky hospital). 

And, final piece of resistance, actually made a list of things I planned to buy in November anyway.

Bending rules.  Trickster.  (Even now, am thinking, ‘What decent writer doesn’t bend rules?’)

Most useful lesson; do not cut your own fringe.  Ever.

Annihilated last week’s grocery goal; bought venison (was cheaper than chicken), bacon and wine for the venison casserole.  Then I’m not sure what happened.  I was sick of restriction, and thought, may as well get the household cleaning items too, saves coming back. 

Subsequently, what-the-hell’d the not-quite-50%-off frock.  Rationalised this by arranging to collect it in-store, saving P&P costs at least. 

But really, it’s so that I can buy candles at Søstrene Grene. 

(Bus Pass made me).

Disclaimer:  If you haven’t delved into any sort of ‘mastery of self’ processing before – please don’t go it alone or via the interweb.  Get professional support. 

Summary:  Total spend for month £227.14.  Overspend (total minus allowables) for month: £98.47, £65.44 of which was in the final week.  So close…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_(psychology)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trickster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIAXG_QcQNU