Journal 11th Oct

11th October

Am in a flurry of clearing out and tidying up. I want minimalist, junk removed, organisation. The only thing I feel I'm in control of. Stuff. At work. AM finally getting schedules done.
At home. Am defrosting the freezer.
It's on it's third day of glacier meltdown. Can't be arsed to pick and battle with it, there's Tupperware stuck in it like plastic mammoths. God knows what's inside them. Two new Inuit tribes have been discovered. National Geographic will be doing an article.

I noticed that my hands were shaking this evening. Three cups of coffee in one afternoon. I think that's all it was.

Went food shopping, forgot about the budget. Bought something I thought was a yam which isn't a yam and I don't know what the hell it is other than it's from Brazil and is horribly gooey, like Alien pods, when it's cut open.
White-fleshed yam lookalike. You're sure of nothing.
Is it okay to make soup with something you can't identify? Tasted like tatties.
Made 'Mystery Soup' with it plus butternut squash, pumpkin and chestnuts.
It's delish.
All's well that ends well.

Woke up in a sweat this morning. Are the drugs working now? Fake menopause arrived? Haven't noticed much difference other than the tears before I get up in the morning, but am quite enjoying the release of that.

Wish I had someone to sleep beside me though. That's what makes me cry most often.
Thought of green eyes.
Have to stop that, there's no joy down that road.
The longing and whining way.