Looking for Serenity.

Looking for Serenity.

I know about the darkness and the pain inside your soul
I know the helpless feeling when you fail to meet your goal
The cocoon you wrap around you to keep the hurt at bay,
The endless battles that you make to live from day to day.

I've been inside the vortex and I've fallen deep inside,
Where there isn't any glimmer to light your way outside.
My ego has been shattered and I thought I'd never heal
I didn't want to reach out to make myself reveal.

How the anguish deep inside me touched every living part
Until I felt I'd had enough and hardened up my heart.
I couldn't see the pain I caused to friends and family
I wished they all would go away and let me cease to be.

I looked at happy people and my bitterness made me feel,
That I was locked outside of life until I felt unreal.
I wandered through the depths of hell, a ghost without no hope,
My life was dwindling day by day down the slippery slope.

Until one day I reached the point I had nowhere left to hide.
And from somewhere deep inside me I found a grain of pride.
It opened up a tiny crack in the wall I'd built so high,
I thought no one would scale it and didn't want to try.

But life had not yet given up; I still had some part to play,
A friend threw me a lifeline and I could not cast it away.
You see this friend was much like me but had some courage yet,
And so we worked together to build a safety net.

We shared each others problems and for once was not alone,
As I listened to her story I thought "This is my own.
Like a master stonemason we gently chipped away,
At the barriers we had put up and faced it day by day.

It wasn't very easy as our walls were built so high,
That at times we both despaired to catch a glimpse of sky.
We are building on a promise that one-day we'll cast aside,
The dregs of our depression, but at least we both have tried.

This is the hand of friendship that I offer up to you,
I and many others know the pain you're going through.
It may not be the right time, but the promise still is there,
If you ever need a helping hand, call out, we will be there.

Serenity does not come cheap you make a sacrifice,
To start each day as if it is the first day of your life.
But, oh! That glorious feeling when life stands still at last,
When gloomy feelings are cast away, relegated to the past.

Lisa Fuller. 2005