We Need Dollars... Not Change

“Hey boy! Where is that lazy, shiftless, son-of-a…”

“Here I am Mr. Obama. Hold on sir, I’ll get your car right away.”

“What’s tak’in so long boy? I’m a busy man. Don’t you know that? Geez,” muttered the
newly appointed President after the parking attendant had left to retrieve the car. “I am never parking here again. It seems to me to be my general misfortune in life to have to meet all of the slowest – and I do mean slowest – white people in town. In fact, it’s almost like they’re following me. Where does he get off calling me Mr. Obama anyway?”

“Excuse me sir, but just how should he have addressed you?” questioned the Kenyon aid, who was one among many of the growing throng of newly arrived advisors to President Obama and was very quickly, getting to know the impetuous young man.

“Ohh, I don’t know,” replied the easily angered incumbent. “Boss; Massa; Captain; Top Dog; Head Honcho; Numero uno … any one of a number of titles may have worked, but theses people, I don’t know… what are they… Scandinavian or something? That guy’s skin is so bright white, it hurts my eyes.”

“What would you like me to do about it sir? I can fire him if you like.”

“No,” answered the President, as he carefully watched the long, shiny limousine drive precisely to a convenient spot in front of the two men. “Why don’t you just hang him in the town square and implement that new bill I passed.”

“What bill was that sir? You’ve passed so many lately it’s difficult for me to remember.”

“You know… the; Get Back At Whitey Bill .”

“But what if…”

“Yes, what if what?” asked President Obama, getting into the finely upholstered back seat as the attendant waited to close the heavily armoured, elaborate steel and kevlar door.

“What if we’re wrong sir and it turns out that the attendant is a Jew, not Scandinavian at all.”

“Why are we even having this conversation Uchenna? If he’s a Jew, just implement the appropriate new bill.”

“Sir, you mean the; Get Back At Jews Bill?”

“Exactly,” replied the president, and if anyone asks you about what you’re doing, just tell them you’re inspiring change.”

“I see. I’m to use the phrase you coined when you campaigned for office?”

“You got it,” replied the strong willed, master of persuasion and debate as the vehicle got close enough to the White House to observe its present state of disrepair. “It got me where I am today, didn’t it? And one more thing Uchenna…”

“What’s that sir?”

“Never question an Obama decision. Only Oprah has the power to do that.”