K) Chapter 10

10.
Ten minutes or so later Lance returned with a perturbed-looking
Dr.Quinn.

'Friend here says you must go in Cage?' Dr.Quinn directed at Richard
rather rhetorically, shaking his head in annoyance.

'Dr.Quinn has very graciously allowed us to inspect the Cage for
anything relating to our mystery volume.' Lance made clear
diplomatically. 'Lead the way Doctor, and thank you once again.'

The three of them took the lift down to Stack 1 and the Cage in
uncomfortable silence. As Dr.Quinn keyed in the code to open the
security door (positioned carefully so that his entire sizeable body
blocked any hope Richard had of learning the combination) he made clear
the terms of his agreement.

'Things in here very delicate, rare. Priceless! You can't touch them,
okay? I will show you whatever you like. Look around sure. No
touching.' He swung the door open and the previously dour Richard
perked up immeasurably. It was as if someone had opened the door of a
bank vault to him and invited him to step inside.

Lance viewed the dark, Stygian little room with different eyes
however. To him it was not an Aladdin's cave but a fuggy little closet
for books that no-one was allowed to read anymore. It was a book tomb.
He noticed too, in a way that Richard could not, the truly interesting
features of the chamber. Behind the large shelving units and their
inches of Plexiglas and large metal grilles , the walls of a noticeably
different kind to the rest of the library. They appeared to be made of
granite, and looked significantly older than everywhere else Lance had
seen in the library. The floor too, was all stone and very old
looking.

'How old is this part of the library Dr.Quinn? It looks different to
the rest of it.' Lance inquired as the Head Librarian groped about for
a light switch.

'Original, part of. Not much left of it. There we go.' The light,
which actually turned out to be touch-sensitive electric lamp attached
to a wall, did little to illuminate the book cave.

'So how old is it exactly, would you say? Lance pressed. Dr.Quinn
shrugged his shoulders and contorted his face a little, then stepped
into the room. Richard followed quickly behind, salivating
intensely.

'This must be a dear diary moment for you,' Lance observed wryly,
though Richard did not notice his witticism.

'Right, what is it you want to see?' asked Dr.Quinn, intent on being
as unhelpful as possible.

'Everything' announced Richard passionately.

'Everything' concurred Lance, without his friend's semi-sexual
subtext. Dr.Quinn sighed an enormous, world-weary sigh and unlocked the
fist cabinet.

He proceeded to show the intrepid twosome the contents of various
rare, priceless and in many cases pointless old books. Richard
struggled hard to keep his overactive saliva glands under control, but
Lance quickly became bored and disheartened, but then amidst the first
editions, medieval manuscripts and the first draft of the Magna Carta
where King John misspelled his name, Lance saw something of
interest.

'What was that again?'

'This?'

'No, that.'

'This?'

'Yes, that. What's that?'

'Building plans.' Dr.Quinn shook his head with disinterest whilst
holding up a bundle of folded old papers.

'Can I have a look at those?' Lance was not quite sure why, but his
instincts were telling him the plans might prove of interest.

'Quite delicate. Really shouldn't've?' Dr.Quinn's voice trailed off
into unintelligible noises of displeasure, but he nevertheless unfolded
the building plans and laid them out carefully on the floor for Lance
to peruse. Richard meanwhile was slunk in the corner in a post-orgasmic
daze that had lasted ever since Dr.Quinn had shown him the unpublished
JD Salinger novel that three men had died obtaining.

'Where are we?' Lance inquired, referring the line-drawing map of the
building laid out in front of him.

'Brrrrrrr?..ggggggfffff' Dr.Quinn mumbled unintelligibly whilst waving
his hand around the plans as if he were about to pin the tail on
something and he was not sure what.

'Right, if this is the main entrance,' Lance narrated as he traced
their location on the building plans, 'then these must be the stairs,
this bit here the first stack.'

'No that's stack 4' Dr.Quinn interrupted.

'Yes, the first one'

'No, fourth.'

'No but-' Lance paused for a moment, recalling his brief lesson in the
upside-down world of information services the previous afternoon.
'Okay, Stack 4, but the first one you encounter upon entering the
library, the ground floor one, but the one before Stack 3. Right?'
Dr.Quinn raised his eyebrows briefly in semi-acquiescence. 'Right,'
Lance continued, 'So this bit off here is the first floor below ground
level, i.e. Stack 2, and this bit is our level, the lowest level, i.e.
Stack 1.' Dr.Quinn nodded. 'So we're here, in this large square room
that is the lowest stack. Well actually?no, we're here, in this bit off
Stack 1, the Cage.' Lance looked up and around the room, confused.
'This room looks smaller than it's supposed to be.'

'It's dark.' Dr.Quinn suggested.

'No,' Lance stepped outside of the Cage for a moment and looked right
along the northern wall of Stack 1, 'It should be bigger in proportion
to the size of the Stack.'

'Shelves make it look smaller.'

'A fair bit bigger.'

'Maybe plans were revised?'

'If only I could have a look at these walls?'

'Nothing's as big as it should be' Dr.Quinn stood up quickly and
blocked Lance from moving back into the Cage. 'We're done - no more
books sorry.' He motioned a mesmerised Richard out of the room and
retreated inside. 'Excuse me, need to clear up.'

'Well that was very interesting.' Lance commented as the door to the
Cage closed in front of them.

'Yes, can you believe they have written proof that Joyce wrote
Finnegan's Wake for a laugh?'

'No - no you idiot,' Lance snapped, 'He practically forced us out of
that room, we must have been on to something, it's obvious.'

'Oh really?'

'Yes, didn't you hear his voice?'

'Ummm?.no,' Richard shrugged his shoulders and stared back longingly
at the door to the Cage. 'I feel complete,' he said wistfully.

'Come on' Lance led him away, 'something is definitely going on down
here.'

Lance suggested they find a quiet place to think, so Richard led him
to the staff room. En route he picked up The New Eschatologist from the
now unattended issue desk.

'You really should take more care of that you know' Lance commented as
they made themselves comfortable on the ripped and water-damaged staff
room seats.

'You don't think I know that?' Richard retorted whilst stuffing a foam
protrusion back into his chair lining. 'I just don't like touching it
that much. It makes me feel all weird.'

'Give it here,'

'Why?'

'I - just - can I have it?'

'You know what's in it. Why do you need to see it?'

'Why are being so defensive?'

'Well I - I mean?Okay,' Richard handed the book to Lance tentatively.
Though he hated it he also felt rather possessive of it. It was after
all, his life it was documenting.

Lance flicked through to the last few completed pages. 'I see it's
still writing itself then.'

'Yes of course,' Richard replied despondently. 'What?' He asked a
moment or two later, observing Lance's look of shock.

'I think Plan A is back on Rich.' Lance announced, smiling
triumphantly.

'What?'

'We've just caught our first break. Listen to this' Lance read slowly
and deliberately from the latest new pages of The New Eschatologist:
'As Lance looked at the building plans he noticed that the Cage was in
real life somewhat smaller than it appeared on the plans. Richard, lost
in a post-orgasmic daze paid little attention to his discovery, but
Dr.Quinn was obviously much more interested. Lance looked with interest
at the back wall of the Cage, but was prevented from inspecting it
further by the Head Librarian blocking his re-entry to the room.
Richard, still in the Cage, leaned back on the eastern wall in a kind
of post-coital bliss, completely failing to notice the hollow sound it
made as he thudded against it.'

'Does that mean what I think it means?'

'Yes Rich. It must do. It means there's a secret room there.'

Richard's mouth gaped open, he was dumbfounded both at this unexpected
news and their unexpected good fortune.

'Richard, why does this say you were "post-orgasmic"? And what does
post-coital mean?' Richard snatched the book back hurriedly and stood
up.

'No time for that. Let's get going.'