SEX

at the Home, a Home for Aged that is. Poor Tony, he is probably thinking, “OMIG, our ABC Holy man must have fallen off the Pope mobile writing about such a “racy” subject. But then, God did say man should propagate the world and bring many babies to increase population. After all, in those days of earth beginning there was much land to settle, cities to build and countries to conquer. So what happens after all these exciting events take place and those virile young men bed fair maidens, raise children, then---

At the Home for Aged I worked at, there were 173 clients, average age 75. Client was a nice reference much better than referring to them as old ladies and geezers. Of course most of the men had passed on and ladies left over still had burning desires in their bones. With a ratio of five to one, things did get out of hand once in a while.

There was Ruthie who resided in a wheel chair. It was a challenge to get past her since she was known as the “groper.” Let a man’s voice waddle down the entrance way and her motor would rev-up. She practiced often and knew exactly where a man’s belt line was located. Her hands would twitch and then a roll of the wheel and she was off, hands out flung and traveling quickly towards the intended victim. A muted scream and chortles of “I’m sorry” would permeate the hall way a few times before Ruthie roared off seeking other victims. Not her fault, eyesight was failing at 82 and needless to say, she did like to reach out and welcome visitors, preferably men.

Speaking of visitors, Dorothy seemed to like the age of 68. Her bosom was at its maximum firmness and proudly held up without any hindrance of a proper sized bra. As a resident in the Home, Dorothy knew staff were so busy and it was only natural she would be one to hail all visitors. A present once given by an old suitor still fit her well, and during visiting hours it was her duty to wear this tight t-shirt in order to cheer up any sad soul, coming to visit a sickly relative. She knew the three inch lettered slogan across her chest fit all occasions. And certainly worth the effort of getting it over her head for such fine moments. Sitting on the lovely leather divan in the foyer was the perfect place as she took a deep breath and greeted each guest with a hearty WELCOME! However it was the slogan on her T-shirt which caught their attention. “Feeling Forty and Foxy” captured their thoughts in a more meaningful way.

Yes folks, working six years as Administrator for these lovelies was an experience and reminds me of several idioms. First: one must look beyond the wrinkled flesh and recognize young-thinking hearts still beat youthful songs. And, eyes do see creatively beyond the reality of the moment. Not to forget these older folks recall vividly days of yore. They are really young men and of course ladies with desires amid day-dreams on how much is missed. Above all, they do wonder if re-capturing good old times is still possible. And is it only fantasy?

© 2013 Richard L. Provencher

Posted March 18, 2013
ABCtales.com