Memories in Pieces

So this life of mine moves onward
Forward, I suppose
Yet, there exists some primal mistrust
My own deeds-
Done, they are
Definitive, they are not.
Directions gambled
Honor balanced
And the proposition of truth
The eye teeth of the soul
The marrow of integrity
Always sure-footed,
Always,
Has been lost somewhere within.

So I look back and wonder
I heard no cry of a child
I saw no tears
No glowing smile
Only shadows on the walls
Yet, she is gone
And the emptiness wages battle
So many things to say-
I said none
So many things to hear-
I heard nothing
So much to touch-
Now alone,
I only feel betrayal

And as I drink from the residue pain
My thirst remains unquenched
Still, I look ahead-
Is there sunlight, starlight
Even gray light from a blanket of dirty snow
Nothing-
Nothing but the pale white from a cheap lightbulb
And my heartbeat, I fear
Pounds from the ignorance of hope
Faceless in the crowd,
I remain
Wordless to song
Indifferent to chance-
My weakness, it knows no bounds

And the dream I had last night is back
Cold, like uninvited silence-
Real, like a slap in the face from a hard rain
Her eyes, her hands
The touch of a smile-
Yet, I remain sequestered from feeling
Disillusioned by thought
The tears... endless
The times... certain
The pieces... scattered
And the loneliness, it has no soul
Only a face
A face without color
A face that never sleeps.

I walk beyond the shadows now,
Through the window I see naked trees...

Winter is here.