Green

Everytime something good happens to me, it ends up like a punch in
the face. Why cant I just look at myself for one single day, without
being a disgrace. Nothing holds my private thoughts inside me, and are
no longer sacred, as they are not private. Now I'm told the one thing
that caused this, the one thing I still want to be with, Is with hate.
Ok, maybe that's too far, and its not as drastic as I make out, but why
am I not allowed to see the only thing I ever loved, or felt true
feelings for, apart from those hot. All time together ignored, like a
small child, naughty, and over-punished by a cold school teacher. It
seems, that it's not me that is loved, And its actually all the ones I
have been with, while braver. As soon as I tell of these feelings, I'll
be shot down, and feel guilty, like I already do, When I'm around them,
seeming like I'm a nobody, no-one, with green through, and through.