I Decided To Take Flowers

I Decided To Take Flowers

Of course I didn't buy it!
Why should I?
At a glance, in size and format it could be mistaken for,

The Readers Digest...

"I clung to the cliff top by my fingertips&;#8230;no one heard my
cries&;#8230;after three days and nights without food and
water&;#8230;I began to get desperate&;#8230;then I heard a
voice?"

This magazine was quite different,

The Forum

Lick my boots you worthless worm...

They used me as a toilet...

My cheeks burned as I licked up the mess...

I'd read Ulysses and I was half way through War and Peace and while
driving I listened to Shakespeare's Sonnets on Audio. Forum Magazine a
jerk-off starter pack&;#8230;why would I buy that?

"She-males sucking session,"

I only vaguely glanced at it&;#8230;a true story it said&;#8230;I
wondered about that and thought about the rest of it&;#8230; and
decided that it wouldn't have been possible even between consenting
adults...

Small ads I'm always drawn to them; as an antique dealer I was
twenty-four seven up at dawn with the Foxes. I lived my life from small
ads they'd taken me to the four corners and I'd met them all; forgotten
folk.
High-rise, twenty floors up, floating their lives just below the
clouds. Keepers of Lizards, Tyrannosaurus Rex at least four feet in
length, large head, great jaws, caged in glass. While viewing some
silver, its eyes never left me, wary of strangers I imagined it
bursting lose, ripping with teeth and claws. I was assured that, Mickey
was harmless once he got to know you, watched TV and was lovely with
the kids.
Sometimes I'd drive hundreds of miles off piste to the outskirts of
somewhere, dead villages, just dots on the map. Houses, bungalows and
cottages manned by Martians, so often in possession of strange and
wonderful artefacts, how why and where they acquired such things? I
always viewed it as treasure in the wrong hands.

Tricked, stripped and spanked by big titted bitches...

Slut 18 sucks off dad's friend&;#8230;then&;#8230;first time
anal...

"The little thread is hanging from your bottom

What sort of people read this stuff?

A boxed add in the classified section, that stood out from the rest and
held me...

Marilyn 40 / 36DD
Recently divorced
Bored / Oversexed
Seeks well hung
Younger man
Box 3289

I reached for paper and pen, I wasn't serious, a gag, a laugh that's
all.
I did allow myself some artistic licence, unfortunately I was 42, we'd
soon set that straight, resting on 32 and further still into the realms
of fantasy; slightly elaborating on my genitalia, in the space of a few
words, from a Chipolata to a Salami and describing the rest of myself
thus:
Dark hair, tall and muscular, I worked out ate well kept in shape. I
was five-six, balding and had never stepped foot in a Gym: I was thin
but fun.
I never expected a reply, but a week later, blue paper, neat
hand.
And so formal considering&;#8230;

Mr Lewis,

I'd love to meet you and thank you so much for replying.
You do sound just perfect for the position.
If it's convenient
come next Thursday at eight.
And I'll be waiting for you.
Marilyn

I read it over and over and came to regard it like soiled
underwear&;#8230;
The address was at the best part of Hendon, with growing excitement of
the delights that lay ahead I slowly weaved my way across London. I
decided to take flowers; they'd make any woman melt&;#8230;never
failed&;#8230;in my experience,

"Just a small bunch," I told the girl, "But make them nice."

When I went to collect them they were huge,
All the colours, all done up in pink cellophane with a large ribbon
bow.

"There's been a mix up," she told me, "take them anyway for the same
price,"

"Sure," I said.

I could see her with a mass of dark hair, red lips, tight black pants
white top showing plenty of cleavage and definitely wearing a
thong!
She'd have class I could tell from her letter...none of that crazy
stuff.

We all squat as you swallow our solids...

The business woman the train and the vial of pee...

I'd try most things...water sports and vegetables...not that...

"Did you find it ok?"

"Please come in. Drink?"

She closes the curtains slowly&;#8230;by remote&;#8230;

Music...something slow...setting the mood...

"Sit down&;#8230;lets relax,"

Puts a cigarette to her lips,

"Light me would you?"

Oh yes!!!

Play it cool&;#8230;

Why rush&;#8230;we've got all night...

Let her make the moves&;#8230;

Until it starts!

I drove around the block a couple of times and took a good look at the
house, set way back from the road, Spanish style detached with a
wrought iron balcony that ran the whole length. It stood in a dip with
a long path that sloped sharply to the front door, in darkness apart
from a light that showed from behind the upstairs curtains.
I parked a distance away, a hundred what ifs?

A cuckold husband...

Jealous and violent...

In hiding...a Camcorder...

Take care...

No risks&;#8230;be on your guard,

Desire!

Clutching the flowers I began my descent to the pleasure
zone&;#8230;
Without realising how steep the path was practically running up to the
front door, pausing to catch my breath...

I knocked...

Nothing...

I waited....

Knocked harder...

The hall light flashes on...

Footsteps...

The door swings open&;#8230;

"Mr Lewis right on time...please come in will you"

A man&;#8230;

Magic Johnson thirty something...Ebony the tall side of six-seven dark
hair...muscular...worked out ate well and definitely kept in shape. he
moved to one side, inexplicably I allowed the house to suck me
in...taking in the hallway bare plaster and floorboards on through to
the kitchen a large brightly lit room. A red Formica table with a stack
of A5 photos face down and that light seemed awfully bright.
So, I'm alone in Hendon Central with Magic Johnson clutching Mother's
day flower's or perhaps a floral tribute to my own funeral and its his
back to the door.

Looking down at me,

"Mr Lewis, thank you so much," as he gently relieved me of the flowers
and laying them on the table, "Marilyn is upstairs still getting ready
for you and she won't be too long now..."

A Chinaman once told me...

If you smile and be gracious people have no weapons with which to
fight...

I decided to give it a try...

I smiled...

"Marilyn she has asked me..." he said

"Yes," I said,

"Before I can allow you to see her..."

"What," I said,

"I must first ask you to submit yourself to a clinical
examination..."

"What!!!" I said.

"If the examination is satisfactory...then I will show you some
very...very...explicit photographs of her...then you can meet
her..."

I took note of his long bony fingers and gave thought to him exploring
my small but perfect body and I made a decision at that particular
moment in my life...

I wasn't Gay...

I wasn't Bisexual...

I wasn't straight...

I was out of there...

"I think I'm going to pass," I told him.

I watched his eyes turn small as he thankfully moved aside to let me
pass. At the front door I could hear hurried steps that abruptly
stopped...a loud knock on the door as a large arm looped over my head
to open it...
Standing in the doorway, younger than me and taller, clutching a bottle
of Motet, fresh faced, hot and eager to please. I took a
guess...Marilyn's eight-thirty?

As I walked up the path glancing back, did I see the upstairs curtains
move as I watched the house suck him in...
Perhaps I should of warned him...