Florescent Colors in a Black and White World

Man! I can't believe this night! Fighting with Alyson always takes a
toll on me. She is such a mental strain! Why can't she understand that
I'm not ready to settle down? I'm only thirty years old! I still have
my life to live before I can commit. We've only been dating for three
months...To hear her tell it, it sounds like three years! What the hell
does she want from me?

THUMP! THUD! THUD! WHAP!

"What now?" This night just keeps getting better and better. Guess I
should check it out. Just had the car tuned-up two weeks ago. "Fine",
the mechanic had said. Yeah, right. They take all your money and let
you get screwed by your own car. What a joke! The hood lever is stuck.
Probably frozen...With all this snow, it's no wonder.

A snowstorm in April...Only in Buffalo! This place really bites during
winter. All right genius, what now? Well, I've got some coffee left in
the thermos, wonder if that will crack anything in this cold? "Here
goes nothing!"

PSSS-FSHT!

Got it! Now, let's take a look under your hood baby. Uh-huh! There's
the problem...Broken belt. Good thing I stopped. Probably would've
killed the car sooner or later. What to do now...Better start walking.
I'll freeze to death waiting out here for someone to pass. Haven't seen
a car go by in a while...Damn this weather!

There should be a town up here. Walking all night...Twenty miles in the
snow...If I was barefoot and pregnant, I'd have one of those 'my life
was worse than yours was son' stories to tell my kids...Assuming I ever
have any. Not for a long, long time! Can't see a thing! Everything is
either black forms or white piles. Feels like I've been walking for
hours.

I should've just pacified Alyson...But, nooooo! Had to be mister
man...Stomp out of the house and go for a drive. Dumb-ass! Luckily, I
dressed warm. At least I'm not a complete idiot. As soon as I get to a
phone, I'll give her a call and ask her to come get me. No, I guess
it'll be more like begging her to come get me. No way! I'll wait until
daylight and find a shop somewhere. Yeah, let her sweat this one out.
Broads! What a joke!

Alyson's a cute girl. A little on the skinny side, but cute just the
same. She just has this way of pushing my buttons though. Like tonight,
she tells me...What was it she said? Oh yeah!

"One day you're going to find yourself all alone, in your own little
world. No one will hear you, help you or even care where you
are!"

What is all that crap supposed to mean? She is so flaky sometimes.
Women are to be looked at and to serve us men...That's all they're good
for.

A ramp! "Only four more miles to go Betsy, then we'll lay up for the
night." Ha...I think I'm finally getting delirious. Gotta' be from the
cold. Even my ears hurt. Think I have to take a whiz, but I can't feel
my boys anymore. Damn, it's so cold!

Town looks completely shut down. Guess I should walk on the sidewalk.
Just in case a car comes along. Ha...Don't want to cause anyone else
problems tonight.

SHWOOP-MPOP!

"What the hell was that?!" Sounded like one of those suction-air
things. All right now...Calm down...Probably just the wind. What wind?
Ed, you're just tired from all the walking. Mind's gonna' play a few
tricks on ya' know and then. Keep your head about you and relax a
little. I'd feel more relaxed if I knew where in blazes I was!

FWUD!

"OW!" What did I just walk into? Damn, that hurt! A sign...Good. Maybe
I can figure out what part of the earth I've stumbled into.

Welcome to Your Own Little World
Population 1

That can't be right. Maybe it's a saying...Like, "welcome to the
Sunshine state" or something. That population thing has got to be an
abbreviation...Or maybe the storm blew some of the numbers off. Yeah!
That's it. The storm...Blew them right off!

Where are all the animals? In every town, you see cats and dogs roaming
around. These people must have a great hold on the stray thing. Where I
live, you can't even keep trash outside because of the strays digging
through it. Maybe it's just too cold for them to be out...Sleeping
somewhere warm, that's all. Guess I should find a place to bunk down
for the night. Still can't see a thing. Maybe the power's out. Gotta'
love the electric company! Takes them two minutes to mess up the juice
and then, takes them over a week to get the shit back on!

Knock-Knock!

"Hello? Anyone home? I just need to use your phone! Hello!" No answer.
Wonder how the Johnson's would feel if I crashed at their house
tonight. Nothing like a little 'B&;E' added to my rap sheet. Well,
like I always say, 'mi casa es su casa' and 'su casa es mi casa'!
"Thank you kindly sir...Think I will stay for the evening." Haha...huh?
Door is either stuck or locked. Ugh! Frozen solid would be my
guess...Like everything else around here. Now what am I supposed to do?
Just brush this snow off the porch and...This is not snow! It's like
plastic or something. Oh no! What if this town has been evacuated and
sprayed with this chemical-plastic-type stuff and it's toxic and I die
and..."Shut-up!" I wish my mind would just shut-up! I hate it when it
takes over like that. "They would've put a warning sign up stupid!"
Calm down...You can figure it out in the morning. You don't have to
have an answer for everything you know! Guess I'll crawl up on the old
porch here and settle down until morning. Can't get in trouble for
sleeping on the porch...At least, not too much trouble.

~Far Away In The Distance~
"Mom! Look what I found outside! Can I keep it mommy? Isn't it neat?
Finders, Keepers, right mommy?"

"You can keep it honey."

"Thank you MOMMY...Mommy...mommy..."

"Huh?" What a strange and screwed up dream! Still snowing...But at
least it's brighter now. I must be getting used to the cold. Funny, but
I don't feel cold anymore...Hypothermia?

What a crazy place! House after house after house...Exactly the same,
except for the color. Must be one of those 'pre-fab' towns. One week to
build it and a lifetime to pay off! I am so funny! Wait 'til I tell
Alyson about this place...No, better not. She'd think I was gonna' buy
her one of these pieces of pressboard.

No birds, no people, no phones...Everyone must be in lock-down. Maybe
there's a major storm watch or something. "Beep, beep, beep! The
following cardboard town is under an extreme storm watch! Stay in your
houses and don't come out for any reason! Even if someone is FREEZING
OUT HERE!" If I could just get one person to answer their stupid door!
"HELLO!" No one's there.

I think I've knocked on twenty doors today. Don't know how many of them
I've knocked on more than once. They're all starting to look the same.
The builders must've quit when all the snow started. Funny though, I
don't see any tools or ladders. Duh! Do you think they make money by
leaving all their stuff lying around Ed? You are so stupid
sometimes!

I'm hungry. Time for breakfast! "Ladies and gentlemen! Which pocket
will Mister Edward Poe choose for his breakfast! Will it be pocket
number one?--two quarters, stick of gum, and some lint! Will it be
pocket number two?--a penny, couple of mints, and a 'what is that'? An
unidentified object! Or, will he choose pocket number
three?--half-eaten candy bar, piece of beef jerky from who knows when,
and another piece of gum! THREE! THREE! THREE! Well folks, looks like
he's going to take pocket number three! Yeah! Shoooo! The crowd goes
wild! Rah! Rah! Sis-boom-bah! Ed Poe's our man! Rah! Rah! Rah!" I am so
funny...Crack myself up!

Okay, let's have a light candy breakfast and then, take a walk-a-bout
back to the car. I've had enough of this dead-end. There has got to be
a real town somewhere around here. One with phones and bars and people!
At least I can quit bugging out now. I knew there was a reasonable
explanation for this place. It's just a newly built community that
hasn't been finished yet because of the weather. I am so smart!
Probably don't even have this advertised in the paper yet! Nothing to
get all worked up over Ed. So you think you figured it out...Big
deal!

Okay, if I can just remember how I got in this town. I don't see that
ramp anywhere! Maybe if I just walk towards where I think the ramp
was....It was just too dark to see anything last night. Sure could go
for a nice hot cup of joe right now. No Ed...Don't go there! Otherwise,
you'll dwell on it. Let's just keep walking. The snow has stopped and
it's a nice day. Yeah...Walking does a body
good...Walking...Walking...Walking.

I'm glad Alyson isn't here. She always says that I bring these things
upon myself. I didn't do anything this time to deserve crap! "You hear
me Alyson?! Didn't do anything this time!" It's all because of those
awful things you do Ed. I can't help it that people have a tendency to
piss me off. They cause their own problems with me! That's not my
fault, is it? Naww...I'm a nice guy...Didn't I help that guy change his
tire last week? If you hadn't run him off the road to steal his car,
you wouldn't have had to change the tire to take it. Okay...There was
that time I helped that little old lady out of her house! You threw her
to the ground and robbed her home. I know that I've done something good
in my life...I've got it! I shot that dog I ran over to put him out of
his misery! "See Alyson! I have done something good in my life!" Knew I
didn't deserve this mess! Hahahaha!

Think I'm going in circles. Why aren't there any tracks anywhere? Where
are the snowplows? How am I supposed to find my way out of this town if
I can't even see a road?! "What was that?"

CLIIICK! CLIIICK! CLIIICK!

"What is that noise?" Maybe just my mind again...Playing tricks. No! I
definitely hear something!

LA-DI-DA-DEE-DI...LA-DI-DA-DEE-DO...LA-DO-DEE-DA!

"Music! Hello?! Where are you?" I know that I hear this! My heart is
pounding out with each strained note! Maybe there's a carnival in the
next town...Great! Carnivals mean electric and phones and food! All
I've got to do is follow the music. Once again, I have amazed myself
with my wonderful sense of...Of...Of knowing what to do! Yes, yes,
yes!

"Following the music...Running to the music...Trying to catch the
music...Can I find the music? Where is the music?! What happened to the
music!!! It stopped! Augh!" I knew that I should've been running the
whole way. Damn!

The sky is empty. Nothing! Don't see anything! Where are the birds?
Where is the sun? Where are the clouds? Where is everything?! There
aren't even any trees! Nothing here but pre-fab houses and chemical
snow stuff! What the hell is going on here?!

Don't panic! Don't panic! Count to ten.
"One...Two...Three...Four...Fivesixseveneightnineten! Augh!" I can't do
this! I feel like I'm losing my mind. Where am I? "Somebody help me!
Anybody!" That's it! I've had it! I'm busting into a house! The cops
can screw themselves...Stuff's just getting too weird.

"Hello little blue house. Little pig, little pig, let me come
in!"

WHOMP!

"Oh shit!" Knocked over the house! Oh man! I'm definitely going to jail
now! You KNOCKED over a HOUSE stupid! Wait a minute. I KNOCKED over a
HOUSE! Bonkers! I am going totally bonkers!

It's not really a house Ed. It's not really a house. It's just a giant
box made to look like a house. Neat! I'm on a movie set! Wow! I wonder
if the director will let me be in as an extra or something. That'll
shake Alyson's tree. She'd never expect to see me in a movie! What if
they're done filming though? Would they just leave the set here?
Maybe...They'll come back later. Yeah, that's it. They are coming back
later to tear down the set. No big deal.

~IN THE DISTANCE~

"Mommy! Watch this mommy!"

Rumble-Shake! Rumble-Shake!

"Mommy! One of the peoples came loose! Can you fix it mommy?"

"What the? An earthquake! OW!" Curved glass Ed. Curved glass? Oh hell
no! Nooooo! "HELP ME! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

"Mommy! The people is alive! Look mommy!"

"It just looks that way honey. He'll fall back to the bottom again when
the snow settles. Then you can shake it up and watch it snow all over
again. It's just like having your own little world sweetie. Your
own...little...world."