Fables

FABLES

1. Love and the Kayak

The Eskimos of Northern Canada have been up-to-date for many years,
doing their
fishing in boats powered by outboard motors. One in particular,
however, had a
kayak which had been passed down his family for many generations. He
really loved
this kayak, and kept it in really good trim so that he could use it for
fishing. Come
warm or cold, rain or snow, he went out in it and always brought back a
good catch.
Indeed, to keep him warm, he even installed an oil stove. One day his
luck ran out.
Forgetting himself when taking a tight turn, he flipped the kayak over.
The oil spilled
out and caught fire, setting the skin of the kayak on fire so that it
sank. He drowned
in the freezing cold water.

The moral of this story is that it is not possible to love your kayak
and heat it.

2. Double Trouble

Jerry had two girl friends, Angie and Jean. He loved them both equally
passionately
and could not make up his mind which one to marry. He thought long and
hard about
this problem and came to the conclusion that there could be a m?nage ?
trios. This
would be an advantage since the girls were firm friends.

The two agreed to the arrangement, so they got together and bought and
furnished a
suitable flat. Things went well for a few months until Angie noticed
that Jean was
getting all the sex. Close pals they had been but burning with
jealousy, Angie decided
that this was too much. She therefore decided to put both Jean and
Jerry out of the
picture.

Looking round an antique shop, Angie found a dagger with a beautiful
carved hilt.
She bought it, took it home and left it on the mantel-piece. Returning
home, Jerry
noticed the dagger, and when Angie came into the room lunged playfully
at her with
it. Jean soon returned, so Angie put on a rubber glove, stabbed Jean in
the chest and
went out.

Later, Jerry came into the room, found Jean lying dead and called the
police. The
knife was still in her chest, and as the only finger-prints on it were
Jerry's he was
arrested for murder, tried, convicted and sent down for life.

The moral of this story: Why have two when one will do?

3. The Throne

In the days long ago, when Queen Victoria ruled, and the sun never set
upon the British Empire, there was an African paramount chief. His
reputation spread far and wide, and he would palava with minor chiefs
under an enormous tree. As a reward for his services in maintaining law
and order in his part of Africa, Queen Victoria presented him with a
magnificent throne. The chief had a big grass house built under the
tree, for him to live in, and to shelter the throne when he sat on it
while giving audience to the minor chiefs and other subjects.

On one of the rare occasions when law and order broke down, there was a
tribal war, so to protect the throne it was secured with grass ropes,
high in the branches of the tree. Unfortunately, as time passed the
ropes became dry, and eventually broke. The throne fell out of the tree
and through the roof of the grass house. On hitting the ground it was
smashed to smithereens.

The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses
shouldn't stow thrones.

? R. J. Isaacs, 2001