Danno

A grubby boy peered through a hole in the fence. He jumped, trying
to see over. I
stood back, not to be seen. Chewed finger nails clung to the wood-lap;
his knuckles
grew white as he hauled himself up glimpsing the garden for a few
seconds, before
pain forced him down. With a tremendous heave he was up and over. Torn
jeans
revealed a few square inches of skinny thigh, blue with cold, and I
guessed his
sweater would be threadbare before he grew into it.
'Surprised to see me?' he grinned `Cor Missus, you couldn't arf do
with a gate!'
I had seen that sweater before. I knew it... intimately. It was old
true, but there
was the mend in the middle of the back where barbed wire caught it when
David and
I were rambling. I was so fond of it I had repaired the snag and
continued wearing it,
until I left it on the top of a Birmingham bus. Now three years later I
was married and
in Hampshire. How had this boy come by it?
I was annoyed at his unorthodox arrival in my garden, but the dimples
and the
broken grin quelled my anger.
`What are doing?' The grin broadened.
`Standin'.'
`What brings you into my garden?'
`Me legs!' He cocked his head `What brings you Missuss?'
`I live here. What's your name?'
`Danno's what I'm called. Me real name's Daniel O'Rourke.'
`Well, Danno, will you leave my garden the way you came or by the
front
gate?'
`Oh! I'm not goin', I only just come.'
I should have sent him packing there and then, but the gappy smile the
lisp,
and the tousled red hair were irresistible
`Have you had breakfast?'
`Have you?' There was a twinkle in his eyes as he countered my
question
with his.
`Mine's in the kitchen.'
`Better get it, hadn't we?'
`We?'
`I don't need much. I ain't very big.' The cheeky face peered up at
me
through his unruly fringe. He was ten, perhaps eleven. He wasn't
exactly dirty, but an
upper lip made sore by the attention of a rough woollen sleeve gave him
an
unsavoury appearance.
`Go on, Missus, I'll mind me manners, honest!'
`Please!' I said.
`Please!' he chirped and the dimples got the better of me again.
Danno
followed me up the garden, tried out the seat and swung on the Bramley,
out of shere
high spirits I supposed, although his appearance suggested he had
little to be pleased
about. I slipped off my anorak in the kitchen and untied my shoes.
Danno followed
suit. He removed tatty plimsolls exposing socks like netting, round
clammy, red feet.
He placed the plimsolls beside mine and hung his jumper over my anorak
on the back
door. I resolved to ask him about it later.
`Cor!' He sniffed.
`Bacon and mushrooms?' He chewed his lip in contemplation.
`Would you prefer toast?' He didn't answer.
I put my breakfast on a plate in front of him. His wild blue eyes
stared in
astonishment.
`Sit down, Danno.' I passed him a knife and fork.
`I'll have bread.' I cut a slice and passed it to him with the butter,
removing
the other plate.
`No!' He grabbed it and put bacon and mushrooms between the two
halves
of the broken slice, then I realised the bread was to replace the knife
and fork. Danno
took a bite. His eyes closed as he savoured it.
`Good?' I asked. He was already taking another bite. He nodded his
head
vigorously having no breath for conversation.
`A cup of tea, Danno?' My friend nodded. `Milk and sugar?'
`Lots!'
`Lot's please!'
`Yea!'
I smiled. He thumped the table furiously and I thought he would
explode.
`I ain't funny! So why's you laughing, Missus?' Danno had sensed
my
amusement and I was sorry.
`I'm sorry Danno. You aren't funny. I think you are nice.' He hung his
head.
`Very nice.'
`Go on!'
`I wish I had a little boy like you.' He looked out from under the
tangled
fringe of hair. His funny little mouth moved from side to side as he
chewed first one
cheek and then the other.
`All right then. You can have me! Me Da won't mind.'
I was taken aback. I wanted to hug him.
`You can! If you want me,' he grinned. I realised Danno was
serious.
Children are usually content with even the worst parents; that Danno
was prepared to
leave his father at the drop of a hat was worrying.
`I'm sure your Da would mind a lot Danno. Nobody gives away their
son.
Have some toast and marmalade?'
`No!' I wanted to prompt him to say, 'Thanks,' but it seemed
inappropriate.
His pouting bottom lip said he was hurt. I tried again.
`Danno, I like you very much, but my husband doesn't want any
children
yet. I can't be your mother. What makes you think you'll still like me
next week?'
I took a slice from the toaster and buttered it. `Have some toast.' He
took it.
I said, `I like your sweater.'
`It ain't mine,'
`Who's is it?'
`Me Da found it...he didn't nick it Missus.' I was still
curious.
`Will you come to breakfast again?' He was silent.
`Don't you want to?' Tears made white tracks down his dirty
cheeks
Impulsively I took his hand.
`Don't!' he snatched it away, gave the table a shove, and
everything
crashed to the floor. Grabbing jumper and plimsolls he rushed out of
the door
slamming it in my face as I tried to follow him. He left by the front
gate. `Danno,' I
called hopelessly, `Come back.'
I didn't see him again, probably for as much as six weeks, though I
thought
of him often. I longed to make amends.
`Forget him!' said my husband. `Be thankful he went before he
pinched
anything.'
I was snatching five minutes with my coffee in the sunshine when
the
'phone rang. I went into the house. David had an unexpected meeting
he'd be late. I
returned to the garden and reached for my coffee. It wasn't there. I
went back into the
house; it wasn't by the telephone.
Where was it? Through the window I could see it on the table again.
I
shrugged, and went out, found the mug was empty, and looked round for
the culprit.
Danno was grinning like a Cheshire cat in the branches above.
`Hello Danno!' I said. `I am pleased to see you. Come down, I'll
make
you some coffee.'
`Had some!'
`Have a chocolate biscuit.' Danno went on grinning at me from the
tree.
Toes leered through holes in his plimsolls and a grazed knee showed
through a new
rent in his jeans. `I'm glad you came. How are you?'
Danno dropped down out of the tree holding his fringe back off his
face
with a dirty palm.
`Danno! How did you do that? Have you seen a doctor?' He let the
fringe
drop.
`I don't need no doctors Missus.'
`But Danno, how did it happen?'
'A car hit me. Don't flap Missus. It don't hurt.'
Remembering how Danno had reacted when I last touched him I was
careful not to make the same mistake again. `I think your injury should
be washed. I'll
do it for you?'
`No! You talk. I like you talking.' My conversation dried up
instantaneously.
`Go on, what did yous have for breakfast?'
`Just toast.'
`And marmalade?'
`Yes.' I searched for something to say. `How's your Da?'
`I don't know. I'm not with him no more.' So Danno was here because
he
thought I might look after him. I remembered what my husband had said,
but I
offered him breakfast
`I ain't hungry.' Danno stood up and turned head-over-heels on the
lawn.'
`Danno! Your head!'
`Don't hurt.' he said and turned another to prove it. I recalled how
he had
tried out the garden seat and swung on the apple tree, when we first
met, for sheer
joy, now there was apparently even less joy in his life, yet...
The spring sunshine went behind a cloud. `I think we'll go inside.
Its
chilly. I could do with some coffee, someone drank mine!' Danno
followed me and
hung his jumper on top of my anorak. It was then I noticed the dark
stains on it.
`Danno, what's that?'
`Nuffin'. Don't matter, I wear it back to front.' He sat at the
kitchen table.
I put the kettle on.
`Sure you don't want coffee?'
`Sure.' he said with finality.
`Missus. I gotta find somewhere to stay. I won't be no bovver.' I was
in
deep water. Apparently Danno was homeless but I knew my husband would
not
welcome him.
`You said I was nice.'
`And so you are.'
`I won't be no trouble. I won't cost you. I just need somewhere to
be.
Please Missus...' My conscience harangued me with questions I couldn't
answer.
Was I going to tip a kid out on the street? As if Danno was reading my
mind he said,
`Your Da won't even know.'
`Danno I'd love to have you, but he'll find out. You couldn't possibly
live
here without him knowing?' He wasn't going to be beaten.
`If I promise I won't show up when he's about, can I stay?' He
was
desperate. `Please Missus?'
`Can we compromise...' I began.
`Good! That's settled. Thanks Missus.'
`But Danno...!' He grabbed his jumper and plimsolls. `Danno!'
but
Danno was gone. Where had he gone? To fetch his meagre belongings from
some
God- forsaken hole? What had I done? David would never forgive me but
if I had
turned Danno out I couldn't have lived with myself.
When David arrived home, Danno wasn't back. I was nervous and it
showed. I said I'd had a bad day.
`So have I!' How could I tell him Danno was going to move in with
us?
`What's wrong Anna?' he asked when I looked out of the window for
the
twentieth time. `Who or what are you looking for?' It was no good. I am
a bad liar, he
would know if I tried to spin him a yarn about the Avon lady.
`Danno was back today.' He looked blank. `Danno, the boy who
came
into the garden...I told you, remember?'
`Oh, yes.'
`He has nowhere to go. He's not with his father any more.'
`Why?'
`I don't know... He wants to stay here.'
`You told him he couldn't of course.'
`No.'
`No? You can't go taking in riff-raff off the streets. David slammed
his
paper down.
`He'd be no trouble, wouldn't cost anything...' I wasn't doing very
well.
`Where is he now?'
`He left before lunch, and I haven't seen him since.'
`Well why worry? Let's hope you don't hear any more of him. Anna
I've
had a long day. I'm tired.' David was unusually tetchy and so was I. I
worried about
Danno, I pictured him sleeping on sacks in some rat-infested ware-house
with
nobody to love him. Perhaps he was used to it but why should he go on
enduring that
sort of existence when we had the where-with-all to give him a
home.
David was moody for days and I couldn't get close to him. In a way
I
was glad Danno didn't put in another appearance, but I was concerned.
I'd told him
he could stay and he hadn't come back.
Eventually he came. I'd been shopping and as I put the key into
the
back door I saw him sitting at the garden table.
`Danno! Where have you been?' I said, holding out my arms to
him.
`Around. Said I wouldn't be no trouble didn't I? You didn't know I
was
here, did ya.'
`No,' I said, `You've proved your point if you have been staying.
You
haven't though, have you Danno?'
`You didn't know, yer Da didn't know neither, so can't I stay?'
`Have you been alright. Where have you slept? Were you warm
enough?'
`'Ang on Missus. I made meself scarce, so can't I stay?'
`As far as I am concerned Danno, you are welcome, but David, must
not
know. If he finds out, he'll kick us both out.' Danno looked as though
he would hug
me.
`Great Missus!' He took neither food nor drink, insisting he'd cost
me
nothing. I'd forgotten about his injury until then, and as he sat with
his elbow on the
table, his hand pushing his fringe back from his forehead I saw it
again.
`Danno, your head! I'm so sorry, I should have asked. How is it?
`It don't 'urt.' I didn't think it was any worse, but it wasn' t
better
either. I'd get him to a doctor.
`Don't worry Missus. I don't need no doctor.'
Danno stayed for the rest of the day. He seemed in no hurry to go and
I
became anxious as the time approached when David would return from
work. He
was late. That was nothing unusual, but he usually let me know.
`Don't worry Missus.. He's alright. He'll be home, when he's ready.
He's
got things to sort out.'
`How do you know?' Danno didn't answer and I didn't press him.
When David came in he looked tired and drawn. He put down his
briefcase and sat on the stairs.
`David, are you alright? Darling, what is it?' He pressed my hand to
his
lips. `We must talk.'
`Of course.' I sat beside him . He said he hadn't been honest with
me
recently.'
`Someone else?'
`Nothing like that. I haven't told you everything, that's all. I've
had my
driving licence take away?'
`That's not the end of the world.' I said.
`Remember I phoned some weeks ago, said I had a meeting?' I
remembered it well. The day Danno came back.
`There was no meeting. I was in an accident.'
`A bad one? Was anyone hurt?'
`Bad enough. I'm lucky to be alive.'
`David, my love.' My husband was weeping. I'd never seen him cry
before. Not....'
`Drinking? No. The samples were all negative, but I was doing forty in
a
built up area. It was bloody silly. I've no excuse.'
`People do it all the time. It'll be all right you'll see.'
`I killed a pedestrian.' he said. I drew away.
`David! Why didn't you tell me?'
'He lived several days but never regained consciousness. I went to
the
hospital. Anna, he was just a kid.'
`And his parents?'
`It seems he was living rough, poor little devil. He was only a child
Anna,
and I killed him.' He turned to me. `You'll think I'm stupid, but it
was the strangest
thing. When the ambulance came I watched them lifting the frail little
body onto the
stretcher and I could have sworn he was wearing one of your old
sweaters.'
Finis

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9
DANNO

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