Perfume for Men

The Saturday newspaper arrived as usual under my husband's arm.
He
was greeted joyfully in the hall by our little Pointer bitch. She was
pleased
to see him, of course she was but something else was drawing her to
that place.
David selected the news , gardening, money matters and the
sports
pages and retired to his arm chair to peruse them.. He rejected
property,
arts and the magazine section and left them on the bench by the front
door.
The Pointer stayed to investigate.
When I went into the hall to see what had been left for me I
found
Liza completely bowled over with excitement generated by a grey
looking
sheet, among the colour pages of the magazine. It bore the name of
a
famous perfume house and had been generously impregnated with the
scent of 'Romantique'. This was a company advertisement anticipating
increased
Christmas sales no doubt. Unfortunately for them it will not have
the
desired effect, at least in this house.
Liza managed to extract the attractive, loose page from the
supplement and ran off to the kitchen in an ecstatic stupor. She lay
down
with her trophy on her favourite mat. She dipped her head and
rolled on the paper, she wriggled on it rubbing her ears and face
all
over it, she licked it and chewed it, she stretched and squirmed
making
natty little noises of satisfaction as the smell was transferred from
the
paper to her neck and behind her ears.
Previously I had only seen these rapturous canine antics when
out walking and our little bitch came across choice droppings from
an
animal like a dog fox, stag, bullock or occasionally a male
heron!
I started to worry. I began to wonder what the celebrated
perfumer
knew that I didn't and indeed what effect it would have on young women
at
large, for clearly it was the intention of the advertising company
that
there should be an effect.
Picture the scene; Mr X sees the woman of his choice and dabs a
blob or two of 'Romantique' behind his ears. He moves
surreptitiously
nearer to his quarry and waits for her reaction. Does he know what to
expect?
Will the young lady's behaviour resemble Liza's in any way?
Assuming that the lady is a lady and has more self control than
Liza,
he probably will not find her impulsively rubbing her head and
neck
around his ears without so much as a how-dya-do - expensive potion or
not - but
might she not be overcome with a desire to lean her head on his
shoulder and
perhaps be tempted in a moment of romantic esprit to touch one of his
ears
with the tip of her little tongue?
At this thought my mind boggles just a little. What was it that
stimulated carnal desires in my little bitch? What was it made her
display
so sexually with a sheet of perfumed news print on my kitchen
floor?
From where has Monsieur le Parfumi?re obtained the ingredients for such
an
explosive mixture? All my instincts tell me that no matter what it is
and from
whece it came it was not intended to be sampled by human taste
buds.
Whatever Monsieur has mixed with what I think it might be wiser
if there were at least one warning on the bottle. May I suggest if you
are
at all particular, young ladies, you should beware of men who smell of
'Romantique'
or in the least mmmmmm - mmmmmmmmmmm this Christmas? You could end up
on the
kitchen floor!