Spoon in the Jam

THE SPOON IN THE JAM
There's a spoon in the jam today Ma,
Is somebody coming to tea?
I can get jam from the pot with my knife,
So the spoon wasn't put there for me.

Why are we going all posh Ma?
Is somebody coming to call?
The napkins are out, and there's slices of cake,
There's a knife in the butter 'n all.

There's a spoon in the jam, but why Ma?
I see the best cups are put out.
Why did you have to put milk in a jug?
Ma, what is the fuss all about?

Is that lady ever so posh Ma?
Is she why I'm `Darling' today?
And who will be getting the cup with the chip?
Yes, I thought it was coming my way!

Can I have a bit of that cake Ma?
Sorry, I should have said `please'.
Eat my cake with a fork? Ma, that's going too far,
Supposing our visitor sees!

Why did you give me a kick Ma?
It hurt, and I had to say `damn',
Don't send me to bed, it wasn't my fault,
It was you put the spoon in the jam!