Observatory

OBSERVATORY

Michael wondered why his father, Michael spent so much time in the
observatory, so he asked him.
"Dad, why do you spend so much time in the observatory?"
"Well," Michael replied. "I...er, I er...er...I look at the
stars."
"But why don't you ever let me go in there?"
"Er...I...er, it's...er, oh stop asking me stupid questions!"
"Okay."
Michael's mother, Michael never wanted to move into a street full of
whore houses. Ten years ago she said, "Michael, I don't want to move to
a street full of whore houses."
Michael replied, "Well, er...I...er, it's cheap though."
"Okay, let's get packing."
Michael wondered why his father would keep on disappearing to the
observatory with a toilet roll under his arm from time to time, and why
he always wore big woolly jumpers. He also wondered why he would go to
the observatory for hours on end when the skies were thick with cloud.
He wondered why his parents would always row about the fact that his
father lacked the urge to screw his mother. He wondered why his father
didn't know a thing about constellations and planets, and why no two
people shared the same name in dramas and soap operas. He wondered why
he kept on wondering about everything and never got suspicious. But one
day, he did, and decided to break into the observatory by kicking the
door off its hinges. He watched his father enter, lock the door behind
him, and he waited a good five minutes. But what he was about to
discover would make him throw up for the rest of his life. For amongst
the piles of toilet rolls, he saw his father dancing right infront of
the window, and he was naked, and he was a woman. He/she was a fucking
lap dancer for christ's sake, and all the men in the whore houses
opposite were watching him through telescopes. He froze on the spot,
Michael froze on the spot, then his mother, Michael, came running up
the stairs, and it turned out that she was a man, Michael's father, and
Michael, who Michael thought was his real father was just some
slag.
His real mother, they told him, as he was about to attach the hose-pipe
to the car exhaust, was called Michelle. She died at a fany dress party
(where she went as an alcoholic drug addict), severe alcohol poisoning
and hard drug abuse, the autopsy revealed