How to Kill a Cartoon-Character.

Dear Kenny

Even though you’re in cartoon heaven
Even though you’re dead
I know you’ll still be listenin’
So here goes…

I’m writing to tell you how the others died.
Thought you would like to hear
How your cartoon colleges met there demise.

Mickey the Mouse got the sack
For getting in a cat fight
Dodged some jail time
By escaping an unpaid fine
And Instead of joining the bread line
Decided to join the front line
But was shot by a rat!
Mini was shot by Mr. Disney
For flashing her knockers in a nuts mag.
That Scoobie snack
Gave Scoobie-doo a heart attack
And even though Fred Flintstone
Rose to fame on the back of a fag pack
He got throat cancer and fell right back,
Breaking his neck on Impact.

Tom finally caught Jerry
Or was it the other way around?
Aww, I don’t know
But if Tom was the cat and
The mouse was Jerry
Tom pinned him to the wall
And drank his blood like sherry.
They didn’t show it on cartoon network
It was seen to finally cross that invisible line
They didn’t like the way you saw the mousey body
Twitch and jerk, but what did you expect from
Cartoon network?
They changed tack,
Instead of putting it on tv,
Thought ‘we can put this in the DVD!’
A Christmas special!
Then the kids can see.
All the things that happened,
To that poor, wee, mouse.

But boo hoo, What can you do?
It may be life for you ,
Its only telly at my end.

Sam Small