Persuasion

"It is a common belief amongst many members of the general public
that the writing and delivering of persuasive speeches is a difficult
task, one that only trained professionals can manage. But I am here
today to convince you that this is an untruth, a fabrication. In
several easy steps, I will show you how this task can be
achieved."

"When you first begin drafting your speech, there may seem an
overwhelming selection of highly recommended linguistic techniques to
choose from. Should you use rhetorical questions? Longer sentences
followed by far shorter ones to add emphasis to the latter? Lists of
three? My advice is to fit as many techniques, such as personal
relation to your listener, a particular favorite of mine, into the
smallest possible space."

"Opinions can vary on which sources other than your own you should
include in a speech of this type. In fact, the only really unanimously
agreed technique is repeating your keep repeating your argument's key
factors and points. Also, statistics are known to be convincing 92\% of
the time, and anecdotal evidence I know to be effective, speaking from
my experience back at the Reading Uni conference a few years back. A
good friend of mine, and noted luminary in this field, Dr S. Milen,
informs me that quoting an expert, particularly a scholar, lends
authenticity to your argument. Some hold that presenting the views of
your opposition faction, presumably in order to destroy their
arguments, is a sound principle, but this is frankly ridiculous, as of
course being one-sided is, unarguably, essential."

"I cannot begin to convey how vastly critical the need for
overexaggeration is. I also present the considered opinion that the use
of extensively formal, or received, language and pronunciation can lend
extra weight to your arguments by overwhelming the listener. But then
again, you know, informal language can lend a sort of identification
with your listener, and make them feel more comfortable with their
situation. Jargon is a technical term we use for specialist language in
a field, and can impress those unaware of its exact meaning, but take
care to explain any jargon you do use carefully; to avoid alienating
your reader."

"Let us for a moment imagine a craftsman, a maker of fine and beautiful
things, plying his trade. Would not you think that the finest craftsman
would wish to use the finest tools available to him to carry out his
work, to make the best possible object of his craft? This example tells
you why it is almost inevitable in any speech of worth that metaphor
will occur. And by going back to our craftsman, imagine that he chooses
to use these fine tools of his only for the first part of his work, and
then returns to his old, clumsy implements to finish it. What kind of
craftsman is he then? By this, I can demonstrate to you the incredibly
useful linguistic 'tool' that is extended metaphor."

"There is a range of really remarkable, readily useable techniques,
such as alliteration, that can quickly and simply improve the quality
of your speech. I will use this opportunity to reiterate my earlier
remark: always repeat your most critical points. Linguistically, look
at using emotive vocabulary as often as possible- it gives results
hard, fast and strong."

"I will now reveal to you one of the most effective techniques of the
public speaker to you (two second pause): the dramatic pause. By
carefully structuring your speech, with planned 'paragraph break'
pauses, and by leaving gaps immediately prior to key points, you can
achieve your main objective in delivering a speech: (one second pause)
getting your point across accurately and efficiently."

"Finally, remember those key points: metaphor is critical; use a
variety of recognised, suitable linguistic techniques; relate to your
listener. You should definitely use the imperative. I will say again
how important repetition is, but warn you against going too far. Three
is probably the correct number. Try to sum up your points at the very
end of your speech. And lastly, feel free to experiment in changes of
style and angle, or a controversial topic. In some cases, one of the
most effective ways of getting across your points can be careful and
relevant use of humour, irony and sarcasm, although I am not sure if I
think I can manage this myself&;#8230;"