Porcelain people and the Holiday Inn

Wednesday was aerobics night at the Holiday Inn. Angela and friends
always met up by the cocktail bar at seven for a quick Margaritta
before gathering in the ladies loo to change. Although not the most
glamorous of dressing rooms, it was none the less far more dignified
than the communal changing in the hall as opted for by the assumed
lower classes and Courtney Hamilton, who, having won slimmer of the
year had recently developed a tendany to show off.


The ladies fascilities were really rather pleasant, though a
little too pink for Angela's liking. If it werent for the dual condom
and tampon dispensor situated discreetly behind the highly glossed door
with its pastel pink panels, it could almost have passed for one Angela
had seen in the ideal home exhibition. With wall to wall mirrors in
golden framework above the rose pink hand basins and a choice of two
complimentary liquid soaps, a visit to the ladies loo might seem a some
what lavish affair for anyone not used to quality. To be truthful, the
rooms greatest if not only failing, was the absence of quilted tissue
in the cubicles.


The bar had actually proven rather dissapointing to the
girls. Having all seen Tom Cruise in the film Cocktail, they'd
anticipated a little more excitement than that which was was offered by
the elderly barman. The only time any of the drinks were truly shaken
was when he attempted to deliver them to the girls table and his idea
of the exotic was to drop half cherry and a cube of pineapple into
their glass as a special treat for being regulars.


Regulars were obviously not such a regular occurance,
however. When the girls had first began attending the classes there had
been twelve elegantly designed tables on ornately carved legs,
complemented by matching stools with blue velvet cushions, situated
carefully around the bar. Gradually these dwindled down to just the
remaining three, the others having been replaced by a snooker table and
a pin ball machine, in an attempt to draw in the younger crowd.



Function suite two was a fair sized hall with a polished
wooden floor and a high ceiling, not unlike one they might have seen in
their school gymnasium, except here there were not those dreamy ropes
or the wall bars. Instead, to add interest, adourning the walls were
several framed prints of the queen surrounded by her family and a few
corgi's. To the rear of the hall there was a stage with working thick
blue velvet curtains, matching the bar stalls as though the material
had been a job lot. On most evenings these would be drawn, disguising
the majority of the stage, leaving only a few meagre feet for Martin
the aerobics instructor to leap around on.


The one thing Martin Seazar hated more than anything else was
homeophobic people. To a great extent this included his own parents
who, having discovered that their beloved son had become a fully
fledged female in almost every way at puberty, were forced to embark on
a three month tour of the holy lands to cleans themselves of all
blame.


Martin, however, pointed out to his father that if
homosexuality really were the devils work (which should be severely
punished) then he would very much look forward to receiving any
disciplinary action. He also felt that as scientists believe being
around sick or negative people actually caused the birth of gay babies
it was entirely his mothers fault for ever having anything to do with
his father during her pregnancy. Even his surname indicated that to be
gay were his destiny.


Martin was convinced he were related to the Roman emporer
Julius Ceaser who made his name in history for not only being every
womans man but also every mans woman.


Angela once asked him how he ever managed to 'come out' to
his parents. to which he replied that he did not so much come out, "It
was more like being dragged out by the genitals, receiving a thorough
disinfectant washdown and being shoved back in again.Hell if it weren't
for that rusty hinge on my closet door I might still be in there now"
he added.