Swimming for Life

SWIMMING FOR LIFE

The test came back
your count is low,
no strength to swim
that hazardous journey.
Change your diet -
buy expensive supplements whose
names we can't pronounce -
expecting a miracle cure.
Cut down on the alcohol,
give up smoking.
No hot baths,
must take cold showers.
Underclothes - wear loose and baggy,
those trousers look a little tight.
They're bound to suffocate -
let the air circulate.
Spray yourself with ice-cold water,
I read somewhere you should.
Will that really work he says?
I say, it's worth a try,
the book said it could!.
Make love like acrobats.
legs held high for half an hour.
Bottom propped on a pillow
keep still, daren't move.
I wonder if I did a handstand
(Will that improve our chances).
I think I read that somewhere too -
My husband says
I read too much!