the question of Euthanasia

               IF I have to die, I'd let it be known that I would much prefer civilized Euthanasia to a street hit.  In truth, I'm contemplating these matters after a philosophical and spiritual fashion, and I'm worried about the effect the controversy surrounding me has on my family, especially my daughter.  Ideally, I believe that the rationale by which I'm viewed as defective or dangerous is not after all sound, and that I have been after all useful to American society.  I believe there are reasonable solutions to this problem that just haven't been tried.

               But my life is a stage on which some rather remarkable things have happened, but also upon which there has been quite a bit of suffering and tragedy.  I am a spiritual man, my primary deity being Christ, and I would not hold bitterness against those who brought me martyrdom if they came in a spirit of civilization and peace.  

            Although I have been shown love and honor, I'd not be entirely unhappy to put a close to this earthly book...  and to go to the spirit world for the next step.

               If the man that I was or my ideas meant anything to you, or if you see extenuating circumstances in my errors, then please grant me that mercy: if my death is indeed needful.  At any rate, it is my hope that some change will come upon these affairs...   and I am not unwilling to consider the possibility of euthanasia, but I implore you in Christ's name to discuss and treat the matter gently.  

           The question of physical death or survival has rarely been all important to me, but I have strived to conduct myself in a peacable and civilized manner, only falling from such a standard after truly incredible duress...   and I have always wanted to die in a civilized manner...   a reason I have so held on even through great discouragement and calamity.

               Let us pray, or contemplate, upon these matters, and decide with noble hearts whether it is best to persevere in Earthly life or spiritual realms...   and what the best way to go about the best course would be.