Interview transcription: Love and Marriage (opposition)

Transcription of session 1 – Love and marriage (opposition), research interview conducted by Miss Sleeping Beauty. Interviewee: Lime Green.

Sleeping Beauty (SB): “Hi Lime Green, please can we confirm that you are aware your session is being recorded for research purposes?”

Lime Green (LG): “Yes, Miss Beauty, we can.”

SB: “Great, thanks so much for offering your case as part of my research into love and marriage.”

LG: “No worries, but I’m not sure why you are interviewing me. I’ve never been loved, nor have I ever been married.”

SB: “That’s precisely why your story is unique and of such importance to balancing out my research.”

LG: “Well, ok, I guess I was sent your way for a reason then. . . So what do I have to do exactly?”

SB: “You just have to answer my questions as honestly as you can.”

LG: “Oh, I can do that. I have a serious problem with honesty, so just be warned, trusting my use of language won’t be a problem… ok, go for it, what’s your first question?”

SB: “No, be absolutely honest, language included. Thanks. So, what was it like growing up with your sisters Rose Red and Snow White?”

LG: “Stupid question! They’re like gorgeous! It was crap. Seriously revolting. They both got all the credit and the Grimms didn’t mention the Lime Tree in the garden even once! There I was, as much a part of the family as the other two, but my mother reckoned that only my sisters would sell, that I wasn’t ‘attractive’ enough to the audiences. So I reckon she scarred me and began my hatred of men… well maybe she didn’t actually start it really, more likely my father did. Note how she left him out of the story she told The Grimms too? Dad wasn’t squeaky clean like my sisters, or the exaggeration of my mother, either. He actually deserted the two of us to run off with a Lounge Singer as he was a wandering musician. Yip, there’s another family secret, a ‘wandering’ musician. I was the only child. Then Mother hooked up with some doctor after the musician, which is why she planted the red roses, because she wanted his blood after he left her for his new secretary. My mother had to resign from the post as she was pregnant with his daughter; her replacement replaced her in more ways than one. The white rose bush was planted after that, because Snow White was the daughter of an Olympic Skier. The Skier, however, preferred men in tights to my mother, and it was only after a whole lot of Vodka that she managed to get him to get her pregnant. My mother’s ability to conceive surpasses that of any of the rabbits my sisters were so fond of in the story the Grimms made up about them. The Grimms left out all the details so that the ‘little children’ would be able to read their story, but then, maybe mother left the details out altogether so that The Grimms only worked with what she gave them and what they observed in my sisters’ behaviour. Why aren’t we giving children the truth? Why are we feeding them fantasies and made up stories and then expecting them not to have depression and anxiety when they realise they’ve been lied to and the world isn’t “perfect”? It’s ridiculous! Yes, so, hope that answers your question… no maybe it doesn’t. I think I was just letting off steam over my jealousy of the whole situation. Actually, as I have to be honest, if I think about before The Grimms were on the scene: Growing up with my sisters was cool, it was only after the Grimms, stupid men, that everything got spoiled and they went off and became models. Then, after being messed around by the dwarf agent, who was a talent scout for underwear models,  they were deemed to be ‘owned’ by said dwarf guy due to some clause in the wicked witch created contract. So the princes, who fell in love with my sisters’ ‘virtually naked’ beauty, had enough dough to buy them out of their contracts and make ‘decent’ women of them. I was never as hot or pretty, or even able to model anything but a maid’s outfit or a Halloween kit. So that sucked. But, other than that, we were all abandoned by our Dads and forced to put up with our fame and fortune seeking mother, so we got on rather well. We still get on, but I know they feel sorry for me, because men don’t even look at me. Ok, I think that answers the question now.”

SB: “Just to clarify, what do you mean: “men don’t even look at you”, you are really lovely.”

LG: “Ha ha ha, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, so thanks for the compliment, but guess you see something I don’t. Bless you. Still I see my truth and my truth is that I see someone who looks like a human with all the parts, has a beautiful soul, but the body just isn’t all that. But, what I meant was, when I go out with my sisters, and say they need to go and pamper themselves, I’ll wait across the way. As they move to and return from the ladies room, literally every guy will stop and follow them with his eyes and head. My sisters are oblivious as they are usually engrossed in their own conversation or in that focused place as they are looking for my face alone. I’ve never had any guy stop and stare at me like they do her. Although, I was once walking and this random guy fell into step next to me and chatted away until he walked straight into a rubbish bin! I laughed so hard I cried and he left more embarrassedly ‘rose’ red than my sister’s namesakes! Ha ha ha … Does that clarify?”

SB:  “Yes it does. Thanks Lime. Next question:  Please let me know the way you have rationalised staying away from love and marriage.”

LG: “Sure, I can do that. Where do you want me to start? Any particular order?”

SB: “No, not at all. Let yourself free-think along whatever path your thoughts take you.”

LG: “Well, ok… that leaves a rather large scope for nonsensical, random thoughts spittage… so how should I go about this… Rooms, that’s a thought. Ok, in all fairness and honesty to the Grimms, I have to let it out, they didn’t know I existed because when my mother heard they were visiting to document the goings on of our home, she shipped me off to the only educational institution in the land of far far away. Now this was a problem because said education institution only caters for guys, but after my mother threw her voluptuous weight around they eventually agreed to take me in (probably to shut her up). It was odd being around guys at first but I got used to it. Upon hearing of my banishment to the institution, many other parents sent their ‘unnecessary’ daughters to join me, so by the end of my 5 years I’d established that there was actually very little wrong with them or myself and, actually, my family was quite insane. Hence, I don’t want to get married and end up insane due my mistakes and/or another’s manipulations, inconsiderations and desires to up and leave all commitment. I’ve seen many a woman fall desperate and suicidal over a man. I find it quite pathetic actually. One’s centre should not be based in another human being. One cannot have their emotional centre based in another who is probably as faulty and/or as desperate as the clinging one, even if in a different capacity.

Anyway, back to the point, after a while the guys got used to me being there and they eventually stopped hitting on me. It became clear to me that men will hook up and marry whoever is available. If she isn’t available, then they will go on and find another and keep going until someone says yes, then they’ll just stay there. I haven’t figured out if it is for comfort, for their ego, or for their lack of self-confidence and/or energy in old age. A teacher of mine once said that if a woman has breasts, cooks and cleans and gives enough sex, then the man is happy with said woman. Hearing that and watching the guys, who couldn’t even hold a proper conversation with me, trying their luck, just turned me off even more. If I end up married and he sees a better model? Then what? Cheers to me? These men are training themselves from a very young age to just keep going and keep trying whatever is offered. I don’t want to be loyal to someone to whom my loyalty means so little that it isn’t reciprocated. Yet, other women, they are happy to let him do as he pleases, and if another woman is giving him the sex she doesn’t want to give him anymore, then that’s fine, she’s still living in the big house and eating excellent food! I ask you? What kind of life it that? Ha, the lives of many I am slowly realising.

Right, back to the guys at school… So when they finally realised I wasn’t an easy shag, they got over themselves and welcomed me as one of their own. I was appreciative of this as I had to ‘fit’ within the social realm somehow. It was then I learnt that you’re either ‘fitting in’ with the chased or the chasers. Neither suited me. The chasers meet up on a Sunday morning and discuss who they scored over the weekend, how far they got, whether they’ll call her or not, should they call her or not, how he got her, what moves worked, what didn’t and so on and so forth. I always sat silently throughout those discussions, virtually a silent fly on the wall. Listening attentively, keeping my facial expressions singular and never mentioning a peep of the conversations to any girls, ever. Still, it made me sick to my stomach and shocked to my core every time I listened to how they treated women as a commodity, something to be chased or hunted and then mantled her on their bed-post. It horrified me that the beautiful women of the world, who deserve to be unconditionally loved, were mere objects to these guys. These women were engaging without knowing that they were only part of the game the men were playing against each other. Would I have been better off like my sisters if I’d stayed naive to all this? Probably, but that’s not the experience I landed up with in my life. So the males I interacted with practiced using women, and playing games to boost their egos and social ‘status’. I desire to be neither a notch on a bed-post nor the one left for a better model.

Further to this, if I did start dating, he would be the first boyfriend and then what if I found a better model myself? Would I stick around or just prove myself a hypocrite? This uneases me immensely.

Please remember, I also have two famous and beautiful sisters, and the couple of times I took a few gents home to help with the far distance travelled, they all, every single one of them, got a hard-on for one or both of my sisters. So I get married and the scenario will be: Now I have a husband that I have to take to a family function and he wants to screw one or both of my sisters? Seriously? I was rejected by my own mother for my sisters’ benefit and now I must open the door to be rejected by my husband because of his reaction to my sisters too? Bearing in mind this is no reflection on either sister, they were just born beautiful and sexy. They also can’t help it that they got “Rose and Snow” and I got “Lime”, my name alone is a total turn off to any guy, seriously.  I remember the one year my one mate actually did get to kiss my sister; do you think I ever heard the end of it from him? Never. Still not even to this day. It was a joke how much his ego was so bolstered by one kiss, just one! It annoys me.

Yes, now, you see, I go off thought track, this free-thinking is not a good idea where I am concerned.  I was supposed to be going on with the order of rooms; I guess the bed-post notch thing can be worked in there somehow. Please feel free to edit all of this to make it much better reading than my incoherent babblings Miss Beauty.

Ok, rooms. Bedroom. I think hygiene! Ok, maybe that should be the bathroom… ok, we’ll make it the en suite. Bad breath, no, I can’t do that or wake up next to that, I’ll vomit and then he’ll be all up in my face that he makes me vomit! How can that be a marriage? Toilet behaviour? I cringe at the thought! Seat left up so that the spray from flushing the toilet (the few metres the spray actually gets to) covers the toothbrushes, floor and walls with bacteria, never mind the seat that is sitting upright to get the spray all over it on both sides – disgusting. More reason to vomit. The skid marks because he’s never used a toilet brush as his mommy never let him clean up after himself! (I’ll definitely get to the mommy part in this interview set!) Then the bowel movement, arse-cleaning story, if uncleanliness makes its way to the bedroom – NO! - I’m getting dehydrated I’m vomiting so much!

So I have to flip the coin again here. I have continuous bowel problems myself. I battle so bad that it’s embarrassing in every respect. Now I’m always hyper aware because of my health issues, so I make sure that I’m hyper clean. I can’t expect a man to put up with me and my hygiene fanaticism, nor my irregular and painful bowel movements. The smell, the pain, and my maintenance for life sucks, a man shouldn’t have to put up with that; I hate putting up with it myself for crying out loud… From experience I know guys love bad smells, but they make me nauseous and I hate them. So a guy probably wouldn’t care, but I do and then I’d get angry with him for his insensitivity and taking the Mick. I’m so over-sensitive in the odour department, thanks to my mother telling me I smelled whenever I finished gathering the wood and sorting out the vegetable garden so we could eat. She was never kindly in approaching anything.

Then the teeth, he doesn’t floss or brush frequently? (Noting the toilet-sprayed toothbrush! Gross!). How do you kiss a guy who doesn’t floss!?! Someone get me some Rehydrate – vomit. Yet, such a guy thinks he’s James Bond and he makes me want to vomit, that’s not a life-long, happy story at all. I remember once I was training in the gym swimming pool, practicing my swan dives, and this guy swims up to me to compliment me and wink at me with a huge booger rolling out of his nose… I nearly died and told him to go and blow his nose before ever speaking to me again. Surely you can feel something like that on your lip? Surely? My stomach is actually churning right now… sorry I have to go and vomit, again. I’ll go pull myself together and I’ll meet with you for our appointment tomorrow. Cheers.”