The End of the Affair

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Tue, 08 Oct 2013
  • 1537 reads
8 comments
 

 

Watched the sun set from the top of a hill;

a smur drifting in from the east feathered my cheek

like the stutter of your eyelids. 

 

Between us – a thousand miles...

a sycamore, and a dry-stone wall, the moon

and a couple of stars, shining – bright

as a new-thawed mountain stream.

 

At my feet, fallen leaves – so readily

they fall and fall again, as if they’re falling in love,

somehow, with the ground...supplicants indeed,

 

and I try to learn from them such lessons

they would teach of surrender...the letting go

of a life, all to brief...wrapped in autumn’s splendour.

 

I wonder if the trees know new leaves will come

again next spring, as lonely...bereft they stand;

I’d tell them, but they’d never listen; a bit,

no – a lot, like me.

 

 

Certificate PG
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Silver Spun Sand Poems
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Comments

Submitted by catherine poarch on

I hate the thought of those thousand miles! But I liked the poem. I really like the small, immediate detail of things you notice when your feelings are raw.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, catherine;-)  Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

All so delicately written. I really liked the tree and leaves metaphor, and that last verse is heartbreaking.

 

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Much obliged to you, Bee;-)  Tina

 

Submitted by Steve on

This is a fine poem, but I wished that you would continue with the metaphors more. "Smur" is a fine word and very nice here, creates a sense of cold, splendid isolation. "Supplicant" is a religious word, but the religious metaphor is ditched for a brief sexual metaphor of "surrender, letting go of a life, all too brief, wrapped in autumn's splendor." Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare combines the sexual and spiritual metaphors to create a tension which gives the play a three-dimensionality. The poem is too short. Extend it to give the full dimension of the pilgrimage of leaves.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Some fine ideas, here Steve.  Plenty for me to think about. Many, many thanks;-)

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

I found the tree metaphor very intriguing, too, Tina, and yes delicately drawn as usual. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Thanks, Rhiannon. Pleased you thought so;-)

Tina