Funyuns and Wagons: the Tale of Dildo Faggins Intro

Once upon a time in a strange and trippy land there was a scrawny little man by the name of Dildo Faggins. Standing only 3 feet tall with a long purple beard, he attracted alot of of unwanted attention every time he went out in public, so.he spent most of.his.time inside a giant hollow mushroom on the bad side of town, where he made a living selling his special tea, which was really just regular tea that he brewed in soiled panties he borrowed from the local strumpets along with toenail clippings, toejam and dingleberries he harvested from his person.

For years he led a peaceful life, marketing his brew as an energy drink to.the local stores. All was good, until late one night we was shook from his slumber by a knock at the door."Dafuq sp you want?" he queried, throwing open the door to find an imposing tower of a man on the other side. "Well, I.certainly didn't come to ask.about your famous tea, I have important business to discuss" the man replied. "Business?" at this, Dildo's face lit up. "Well, come in" Dildo anxiously awaited the man's next words.