The Gift of Ignorance

I thought it was a joke at first. The text was so blunt, so straightforward. It had to be just my brother, Cameron, from his best friend’s phone, right? There was no way it was really Andrew. He had been dating Allie off and on for eight years. We had all had our suspicions about his fidelity, but there was no way he could actually be texting me this. He had been my brother’s best friend since I was ten. I considered him a brother myself; he used to drive me to and from practice every day in his shiny new BMW, and I saw his parents just as much as I saw my own. There was just no other explanation for it. It was a joke, and I dismissed it as that. But the texts didn’t stop coming.

They came every day for a month. Always asking for the same thing. Well, at first if I knew anyone who was willing to keep a discreet relationship with him. And then, more specifically, he asked about me. He wanted me. A boy who had been so beautiful in middle and high school and could have picked any girl that looked at him. And me—an awkward, tall, lanky girl who never got asked to one dance, never got flowers on Valentine’s Day. It just didn’t make any sense.

“I’ve always wanted you,” he had said. “You were my best friend’s sister. You wouldn’t understand, it’s a guy thing.”

“You’re right,” I replied. “I don’t understand.”

I knew the limitations with Allie. I knew that she was strictly religious and waiting until marriage, despite being 25 years old. But why did he have to involve me?

“I just need a girl I can trust,” he had said another time. “I know I can trust you.”

The thing was, I didn’t want to be trusted with this. This was against everything I had ever believed in. He was so willing to overlook eight years of this girl’s undying commitment, so willing to let her believe that he was the perfect, faithful boyfriend to her. And now, whether I liked it or not, I was responsible to hold onto this massive secret. A secret which, if let out, could tear apart not only Andrew and Cameron’s friendship but our families as well. I never expected this burden. I never thought Andrew and I could have something between us so heavy that it weighed me down that entire month. I dreaded looking at my phone. Four years ago I would have been ecstatic. Now, I was simply disgusted. Life had given me a taste of boys like Andrew. I had been Allie before—the unrelenting, adoring, naïve girlfriend who refused to see the signs around her. But was it my place to tell her?

Eventually, I snapped, and told Andrew not to text me again. Him and Allie have been married for half a year now. Their wedding pictures are beautiful—she looks nothing short of blissful. My mom’s wedding gift to them was a silver bowl, and I filled it with ignorance and tied it with a big blue bow. They gave us the nicest thank-you card you could imagine.