The Joy of Text

THE JOY OF TEXT.
sneak

I have a secretive admirer,
and she's driving me insane.
It will cost me one pound fifty -
if I want to know her name.
There is a premium rate number -
that scrolls in my display.
She has texted me twice already -
in the space of just one day.
So with shaking trepidation -
apparent in my hands,
I nervously punch in -
every digit she demands.
To my wilting disappointment,
I'm informed to try again.
They have charged me for the pleasure,
adding insult to my pain!
I was never good at heeding -
intelligent advice.
I am dying for some action,
so I decide to pay the price.
She could be lying in her bedroom -
just waiting on my call,
her mobile set to 'vibrate'
and wearing bugger all?
I can feel my tension rising -
as my bill goes through the roof.
Overdrawing my wank balance -
is the sad pathetic truth.
I was gullible and foolish,
to think a girl would lust for me.
I take relief beneath the duvet,
because at least I cum for free!