Never become

Hanging around my head;
The stars, my dreams, your expectations,
All dissolve.
I can't meet half of what I am supposed to be,
But it's all upon me as instigator of my own ruin,
As my shoulders become laboured and muscles strain,
My head implodes,
Spewing my irrational thoughts all over these situations I create for
myself,
A mixture of hate, regret and frustration,
Because I will never, ever become.