The Ether

The long walk from the operating theatre to the family’s waiting room seemed to stretch out forever in front of young surgeon, Doctor Ian Host. He knew he should not be reacting like this. He had lost patients before in his short career. None the less, he was devastated. His eyes were red and barely focused, his mouth open, unable to form words. The corridor lights seemed to blare down on him, and his sore eyes could hardly stand it.
Outside the waiting room, Ian took a moment to gather him self. Lifting his head, he walked into the room to be confronted by the mother and father. He had met them before, but he was still so shocked every time he saw them. They were just so young.
“I…” he struggled with the words. They caught in his throat as he tried to break the news to the now weeping family. They knew what was coming. “I’m so sorry. There was nothing we could do.” The parents began wailing. Tears filled Ian’s eyes as he saw their hearts break in that moment. He reached forward for them but they shrugged him off. He could barely muster the words “I’m sorry” again before he headed out of the door.

Back in the operating theatre, Ian watched on through the viewing window from another room as the young girls lifeless body was seen by her family. She had been cleaned up now. She looked so peaceful. The father did his best to support his wife, but the tears streaming down their faces could not be stopped. An older doctor walked up to Ian and put his hand on his shoulder.
“Unfortunately, son, it’s just something that happens. Sometimes, the drug dealers and the murderers get saved and the little kids can’t be. You did you best.” Ian just nodded in agreement but could not say anything to the mentor offering him condolences.

When the family had gone, Ian had asked if he could have a moment with the girl before she was taken to the morgue. He had grown close to her during her treatment and frequent visits to the hospital. In the operating theatre, he began to cry again. He grew angry with himself at this point, knowing he should be stronger than this. He was a surgeon. Sometimes people don’t make it, he told himself. He just kept asking himself, Why her?
The green lights that flooded the room reflected the icy feeling within him.
“I’m cold.” He heard in a soft, sweet, echoing voice say behind him. He spun around, expecting to see someone, but there was no one there. He looked around for a moment. After seeing nothing, he rubbed his head, realising that he must be over sensitive after what had happened.
“Where am I?” Ian snapped around again when he heard the strangely sing song voice for a second time. “Hello? Is there someone there?” He wandered towards the door, expecting to see a child who had become lost. He did not want anyone wandering into the theatre and seeing the girl, least alone another child.
He reached for the door, but suddenly stopped. As he looked down he realised he could see his breath. The temperature in the room had suddenly plummeted. His eyes widened in disbelief.
A sudden pounding on the door pulled him from his distraction and he threw the door open to see who was there. He was surprised to see no one in the adjoining room. As he looked on he realised the door to the room was slowly closing. Presuming he had just missed someone he proceeded out to the corridor to find him or her.
No one stood in the corridor. Ian looked up and down but saw no one. It always surprised him how quiet the hospital became at night. No patients walking back and for, no visitors pottering around, not even any porters transporting patients from ward to ward. The silence began to intimidate Ian. He became very aware of his own heartbeat suddenly. His breathing became heavier and heavier.
“Please?” Rang out the singsong voice. Ian snapped around to see where it came from. At the far end of the corridor he thought he could make out the vague silhouette of a child. His eyes blurred and he struggled to focus o the thing. The shadow walked away around the corner, and Ian set off after it, sure that it must be the person calling him.
He fought against his own legs, which did not seem to want to do what he commanded them to. He felt for the wall to his left and slumped against it, but kept pushing on. What’s wrong with me? He wondered.
“Wait, please, wait up!” He forced his way forward until he got to the corner the silhouette had rounded. As he rounded the end of the corridor he could not believe what he was seeing.
He was suddenly looking at himself performing surgery on the little girl. He could not hear what was being said, but he had replayed these moments over and over again. He knew this was the point where things began to go bad. Then, in the corner, stood watching, he saw her. It was little Rose, the girl he was operating on. His face was a mask of pain and confusion. How is this possible? How am I seeing this? How am I seeing her?
Rose, watching her operation with indifference, finally saw Ian stood there. She walked over to him, starring coldly at Ian. The stare made him uncomfortable. It was as though she was judging him. Her soulless eyes bore straight through him.
Ian attempted to say something to Rose as she approached him, but he could not find the words. They stuck in his throat, like a snake swallowing his prey whole. He felt the tears in his eyes again, it was a feeling he thought he would not be battling with again this evening, but it was not to be. His mind, racked with guilt, could not cope with the horror he was witnessing. The sadly deceased girl, glaring at him as if assessing his punishment, as, in the background, his past self fought to save the girl to no avail.
“Please…I couldn’t do anything.” He pleaded with her. Tears slowly rolled down his face as he knelt down to be at the same level as Rose. He put his hands on her shoulders. She did not break her gaze. “Please, forgive me.” He begged. Rose’s cold, pale head tilted from side to side. Raising her hands, she placed them o Ian’s face. Her frozen touch shocked Ian, but he did not pull away. He just stayed there, aghast, tears still flowing, unable to focus on the bizarre, unnatural events that were unfolding in front of him.

Rose walked off, heading through the door. At this point, Ian realised that he was back in the operating theatre with the girls deceased body. A nurse was now zipping the body bag up, concealing the girl ready for transport to the morgue. The nurse looked up at Ian. “Are you okay, Doctor?” It took him a moment to realize that he was back where, and more importantly, when, he had started. “Doctor?” He shook his head. “No.” He answered, his voice barely above a whisper. He turned and headed for the door, leaving the nurse confused as to what had just happened.
In the corridor, he could see the parents of the girl walking down. In his blurred confusing, Ian could swear he could see young Rose walking behind her bereaved parents. He rubbed his eyes, and when he focused again, he realised that she was not there. They were alone in their grief. As was he.
He slumped back against the wall behind him and slid down. He put his head in his hands and grabbed his hair. His head was rocking with confusion, and shear disbelief filled his mind. He starred at is feet, worried that if he looked up he may see even stranger things. A brush swept past his feet and Ian looked up to see who was there. It was one of the cleaning staff, Jack. He was a nice old man who Ian had spoken to on several occasions. It always surprised Ian that Jack was still working. He looked about ninety years old and took forever to do most tasks. Ian suspected that he was kept on purely for the fact that he was so pleasant and had worked in the hospital seemingly forever.
“You all right there, Doc’?” He asked, starring down on him. Ian started to pull himself up. When he was stood again he finally found his voice and answered Jack. “Tell me, have you ever seen anything strange in this place?” Jack softly laughed at Ian. He was surprised by the response. “Let me tell you, son, I’ve worked in this hospital almost fifty years. I’ve seen good people come and go, and bad people do similar. But sometimes, the people who’ve been here leave echoes like voices in caves. Take care of yourself Doctor.” Jack walked off and continued sweeping the corridor.
Haunted by what Jack had told him, Ian headed off back down the corridor. Time to go home, he thought.