Blonde Mafia

Blonde Mafia
(The perspective of a 14-year-old female...under the direction of
PMS)

Angry Women have gotten very far in society. Take Alanis Morrisette for
example. What's her problem? But the question really is, does she need
a problem?

There are just too many things to think about in life. Especially in
the eighth grade. I don't understand how most of my peers are so happy
all the time. I hate pretending to be happy. Actually I hate thinking.
Thinking is bad. I know there's other's like me out there, we just
haven't been heard, actually I know almost every girl goes through
confusion in her young life. From boys to friends to parents&;#8230;
it's just slightly overwhelming. (I'm going to emphasize the
"slightly") I've kind of put together everything that I've tried to
make sense of in my short life into one jumbled twisted poem. You can
choose to listen, or not, either way, I know we're still here.

My name is Madeleine
I like my name
My middle name is Jean
I like my middle name too
I think it's pretty
I'm also 14
I don't like that number
13 looks and sounds a lot prettier
I live in a house
Like a lot of people
It's pink
Pink's a funny looking color
Well on houses it is
I have a family
They're dumb
Well most of the time they are
My dad's old
My mom's Turkish
My sister . . .
Well she's blonde
My dad's real old
He's 70 to be exact
A lot of people think he's my grandpa
A lot of people are arrogant
My dad's a senior citizen
I think that's kinda funny . . .
Kinda
My dad probably won't live to walk me down the aisle
So who will?
My mom's very Turkish
She has an accent
She thinks people don't like her because of her accent
My mom's weird
My parents are evil
Well only slightly
O-Kay maybe only sometimes
My parents argue
A lot
It's annoying more than anything else is
My sister's pretty cool
At times
I have pets
2 dogs and 7 rabbits
I love my dogs
One of my bunnies is sick
My dad doesn't think she's gonna make it
She probably won't (she didn't)
My dad's sick too
Actually he's been sick
He's had four heart attacks
Now he has a pacemaker
So that means he can't use the microwave
Which is kinda funny ?
Kinda . . .
I'm really surprised he's still alive
But very thankful he is I love my daddy
I don't know what'd I do without him
I play sports
I love sports
I love baseball
I play softball
Too bad I suck at sports
I love the Red Sox
Because Boston is the Best
I also love their shortstop
Nomar
He's cool
I also love horses
Not sure why
Probably because they're just cool like that
I want a horse
Santa never brought me one
Actually I want a pony
A pretty pink pony
I also want a penguin
And a panda
And a raccoon
And . . .
Well that's about it
I have friends
I think
Well not really
I'm always lonely
But I have friends
I guess I'm weird
One of my best friends moved away to Colorado
Which sucks
I miss him
A lot
That's why I need a pony
I love my boyfriend
I'm glad he loves me too
He's very sweet
I'm also glad he puts up with me
I want to go to High School
But I'm scared
Too many choices
Not enough slots to fit everything in
I want to do ROTC
But I don't know
I want to do debate
But I don't know
I don't know very much
Mark says I worry too much
Tim says I worry too much
But if I don't worry . . .
Then I worry about not worrying
Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm screwed up
I wear clothes
Like people should
I like pretty clothes
I like name brands
So that means I'm a bad person because I care
I shouldn't care
But I do
I think I care because I'm insecure
I try to tell myself I don't care what people think
But I do
I suppose that makes me a bad person
I have a phone
But no one calls
Well, not me at least
I have a computer
I talk to the computer
The computer is my friend
I have a man that lives in my computer
He tells me that I have mail
He's cool
Everyone should have a man that tells him or her if they have
mail
Everyone needs a puppy
The world would be a better place if we all had puppies
I think I'm funny
I also think I'm smart
Which is funny
You know it's a sign of ingenious if you talk to yourself
I wonder if it's a sign of insanity if you answer yourself
I know why the caged bird sings . . . do you?
I also know how to kill a mockingbird . . . do you?
I wonder if God has a teen crisis hot line
Probably does
I don't know the number though
Do you?
There are popular people
There are dorky people
There are freaky people
There are nerdy people
There's a whole bunch of people
But who am I?
I don't fit into a group
For some reason I don't
It's been proven a human being need to feel accepted in order to have
complete happiness
I guess I'm screwed
I want a goat
Daddy promised me a goat
A little gray one
And we'd name him Dutch Jr.
Because we had a little gray bunny that was named Dutch.
But he died
My grandparents are dead on my dad's side
My grandpa died 7 months after I was born
My grandma came down from Southbridge MA to live with us.
She stayed with us for 6 months
The she died too
She died in my room actually
I was the one that found her
Her room used to be the one I have now.
I was eight
She was eating soup
I opened the door
And she was bent over the soup
I quietly closed the door
I told my mom that grandma was sleeping
My mom cried
I didn't understand
I never understand
I wish I were young and stupid again
Next year I'm gonna be 15
I could never think of myself actually as 15
I used to have a best friend
She hates me now
She thinks I'm trying to steal her boyfriend
I'm not
She's jealous of me
I can't see why
There's more to life than just this
But I don't know about it yet
This is me
I am me
I don't know who me is
I think she's lost
But don't worry
Someone will find her
Soon