the homecming, and what a fiasco that was!

Monday 19th July.

London, last day.

Despite another late night, (so what??s new?) we were up early on our
last day and went to Camden. Sunday Camden is a far different beast to
Wednesday Camden. The sun shone for us, people bustled and the town and
market was a living, breathing thing. Time was against us but I managed
to buy yet more clothing much to Martha??s disgust. My argument that we
don??t have anything like Camden gear at home seemed to fall on stony
ground but she gritted her teeth and didn??t even try to dissuade me. I
also found a nice gift for Maurio. He??s a fairly spiritual fella and
after Martha talked me out of buying him a bloody great swinging
hammock, I settled on a reasonably classy ornament in the likeness of
(insert name that I??ve completely forgotten or just look clueless like
me) the snake goddess.

We had to be in the Elephant??s Head by noon. After missing J and P on
the Saturday I??d sent a text to J asking to meet at lunch time on the
Sunday. He??d already said that he was only free on the Saturday so I
wasn??t expecting them to be there, so wasn??t too disappointed when
they didn??t show. We??ll get to see them on the 7th, so it??s
okay.

And then it was back to the flat for the last time. Madonna had gone to
family for the day. A new bambino had been born to the family and she
and Nonna went off to meet him. I was so sorry not to be able to say
goodbye. She??s a lovely lady and I really liked her. I??d bought her
and Nonna some flowers on the Saturday night. Martha had pre-warned me
that if I bought flowers they??d go straight to the church to be given
to THE Madonna. I didn??t mind if that??s what makes her happy then
it??s okay with me. As a back-up plan I bought her a box of fancy
biscuits. She??s a simple lady and Martha said she??d be horrified if I
bought her anything extravagant.

The journey to Euston was a nightmare. Godzilla was my responsibility
as it was 90% full of my junk. Godzilla going was heavy and cumbersome;
Godzilla coming back just about did me in. I have never been to London
yet that there weren??t some rail problems. This time, just like very
other time, there were delays. This meant that we missed our connection
at Lancaster. I told Martha, quite confidently, that we??d get a mini
bus (that takes forever and a day) from Lancaster to home. I was right.
We were so tired but we kept our spirits reasonably high.

I rang Col to tell him that we were on our way home. Suddenly the trip
was over. Home came rushing to meet me and along with it came the usual
brand of chaos and trauma.

??You??ve been burgled??, he said.?? I haven??t seen the cat all
week,?? he said. ??The house is a mess,?? he said.

Apparently Marty??s play station had been stolen. I hate to say this
but my first thought wasn??t for Marty or his play station but for my
computers. I struggled to buy the new one and if that goes there??s no
way that I can afford another one and that would be the end of my
writing. Col assured me that the computers were fine. I didn??t believe
him and was convinced that he was just trying to save the bombshell for
when I got home.

I figured that the poor cat had crawled away and died somewhere.

I felt sorry for the cat. I felt sorry for Marty. I didn??t want to go
home.

I??m going to say something now that I??m ashamed of. I??m going to
regret this, but it comes back to the promise I made that I??d never
lie to, or alter my diary for the fact that other people are reading
it. Martha mentioned Hollyhead. She said that from Hollyhead you can
get a ferry over to Ireland. I didn??t want to go home. I wanted to go
to Ireland and disappear forever. I could do it too. Some people need
roots and ??things?? and people. I??ve always been a nomad. I??ve
uprooted and re-planted my life in many places, many times. I never
stay long in one place before the itchy feet start and it??s time to
move on. I??ve never once thought of running away from my children
though. Not until that Sunday. God forgive me for that. I had enough
money to buy me a couple of weeks. People would look for me in London.
It would have been the easiest thing in the world to just disappear.
Okay, it was only a five minute fantasy but it was still a wicked,
wicked thought.

I felt terrible and told Matha how I was thinking. She made me feel so
much better. She laughed at me and said that she??d had similar
thoughts many times and that it was perfectly natural. It didn??t feel
natural to me. It felt like betrayal.

I didn??t want to go home.

I didn??t want to confront problems the minute I walked through the
door.

I didn??t want to walk into a pig sty that stank of cat pee. You
remember that because of Max??s accident he wasn??t able to leave the
house and I??d just left him, half dead, to rot while I swanned off on
my trip?

We arrived home late but without mishap.

I walked into the house and it didn??t smell of cat pee.

The boys had been to pick Kali up a day early. I??d arranged to get her
from Jay??s the following day. She came to meet me, tail wagging and
grinning all over her face. It was good to see her. Col had brought the
polcats back. It felt strangely like being home.

Marty came in full of himself and he and Col talked over each other in
a rush to get their words out. Marty had been perfectly behaved and I
got good reports about him from both Col and Sian.

It was good to cuddle my boys.

We had been burgled but all that had been taken were Marty??s play
Station 2 and all of his games. Bad, but it could have been a lot
worse. (It got worse, much worse but all that was in the days to
follow)

I went upstairs to see if Max as there. He wasn??t. My bedroom did
smell of cat pee, but it was isolated. I??d left my fleece for him on
the floor so that he would feel less abandoned. He??d peed on that when
he couldn??t get out but only once, I think. That was easily washed. No
big deal.

Sian told me that she??d put him out of the backdoor after the fist
night when she went in to feed him and she hadn??t seen him
since.

I was doubly convinced that he??d swelled up to humongous proportions
and died an agonising and neglected death.

The house was a mess. But it was no worse than any day that the lads
are left unattended for more than an hour. It needed hovering and there
was the compulsory sink full of dirty pots that come as part of the
package with Col and Marty. It would have been so nice, just this once,
to come home to a house that had been cleaned and a cup of coffee
waiting for me .. that was never going to happen. I didn??t mind. My
boys are my boys and if it had been immaculate I??d have thought I??d
walked into the wrong house.

I sat and talked to them. The housework wouldn??t take long and could
wait until after my first calls the next morning.

As we were talking I heard a familiar bump in the bedroom followed by a
plaintive cry that I knew all too well. Max heard my voice and came
charging down the stairs, tail in the air, demanding to be fed.
NOW!

He was fine. He had a horrible (but well healing wound) on his paw. It
hadn??t been visible when I had left because of the swelling. I saw his
paw and knew instantly what had happened to him. I??d thought that
he??d either been hit by a car or a human being. His paw was so badly
swollen that I thought it was broken. It wasn??t.

Polecats! aahhh yes, Polies, remember them and all the strife they??ve
caused me recently? I reckon Max had become a little bit too
inquisitive. You know what they say about curiosity and cats? There
will have been noise, a lot of noise. I??m guessing that Max would have
screamed like a demon on its way to hell for a good long time so it
obviously happened when I was at work.

What I think happened is that Max has put his paw through the mesh on
the polecat hutch. Darcy is too young to have much of a grip so it must
have been Thorn. She has grabbed him and did what polecats do bestest
of all ?K hung on!

The poor cat won??t be messing where he shouldn??t ought to be messing
again, that??s for sure.

My homecoming was bad. But, it was nowhere near as bad as I??d built it
up in my mind to be. Nothing was broken that couldn??t be easily
fixed.

I was glad to be home.

If only I??d known what was to come over the next couple of weeks I??d
probably have hit that ferry to Hollyhead and not looked back! ??