Entry 2-No one Knows

I probably won't share all of these to the world (not like anyone would really see them and take much interest anyway) becasue they're kind of personal at times. Its weird that I say that but continue to write like another person might see it. Maybe its because I secretly hope I become famous, maybe like Anne Frank? minus the tragedy part. My life seems pretty good. sometimes when I hear the fake girls say how horrible their life is and then I see their house and finally realize why she never invited the people she told that to over to her house. Its because she almost always has a big house, adorable pets, and loving parents. All she wants is self pity and attention. She thinks that cutting and saying all of these lies are going to get her on the cover of vogue or something. It's not gonna happen and she needs to get that through her mind. She is using real problems that real people have and she has absolutely no idea what its actually like to live that way. I mean, neither do I, but i'm pretty sure it isn't the best to live with such agony. Sometimes I wonder weird things. Things that aren't necessarily cruel, but some might think are a little twisted. That's why I stopped voicing these certain thoughts. Some of my own family already think i'm crazy, but only for periods of times. Everyone gets mad sometimes. Right? I just have some anger issues that's all. These thoughts have nothing to do with it. I think of it as sort of a philosophy thing. So here we go........I wonder what it feels like to get burned. and I don't mean like when boiling water hits you. Like if you put your hand into the flames of campfire how would it feel. I know it will hurt for a while until you go into shock, but what kind of pain is it? some people say its the psychological pain that's the worst, like when you smell your own flesh burning, but cant do anything to stop it. Or is it that its so hot it feels freezing, like the coldest day of winter in Kenosha and you forgot you're gloves? Scientists have done tests on this and interviews,but how am I supposed to know what it feels like for myself. What if it's different for every person? I have know idea, and its not like i'm ever going to actually test the theory, I have no interest in harming myself but......... Cant a girl wonder?