Golden boy-Habu's Mom POV

  Essay

I know it isn’t Habu’s fault, but he makes everything harder. Sometimes I blame myself, thinking that it must be my fault or something that I did. Everything is harder for us just because of the color of his skin. His father left, he can’t work, he can’t even go in the sun. All because of his skin color. Sometimes I can’t even bring myself to look at him because it pains me so much. When I touch him or even look at him all the memories of the bad things he brought us come flooding in. I sit awake at night and feel horrible for not treating him like I do all of my other children, but I do try my hardest. I am glad for Enzi being like a father figure, but Asu is the one who really raised him. She loves him like he is her own. I wish I could do that, but it hurts to much.

    When I came home and the house was a mess and Habu was no where to be found I started to freak out. I know I wasn’t the best mother to him, but he was still my son. The only thought running through my head was that I had to find him. When we looked and looked and couldn’t find him I started to break down into thoughts of death. I told myself what a terrible mother I was to him, but yet again it was the color of his skin that did this to him, to us. I don’t know for how many weeks that I was in despair. Going to and from work was all I could do. The thoughts of my other children the only thing keeping me afloat.

We woke up one day and Asu was gone. They must be running away from me I thought. Chui would be gone next and then I wouldn’t have anyone. Then a couple of days later the store down the road called for Kito. We had no idea what was going on but Kito did and he made everyone go down there with him. I was overjoyed when it turned out to be Habu. He had gone to Dar es Salaam to keep us safe and told us that he was accepted there and already found work. We worked hard for the next few months to get as much money as we could. When we finally got enough money me and Chui took the train down to meet both of them. When we finally got to this Kweli persons house we knocked on the gate. Habu and Asu were waiting on the other side to greet us. We all started to cry and hug the moment we saw each other. Habu promised us that we would have a good life here, and it was true because we did.