Dad

DAD
I often wonder how you are
and if your in any pain now.
I remember the last few minutes so well.
I remember sitting in the airoplane looking into the clouds thinking
and hoping you would hang on.
The doctors should never have told you that you only had three weeks to
live, only the day before.
When I rushed into the hospital ward. The nurse comes towards me, I,m
sorry she says.....
I cant remember how I got to your bed side but I did, your face was
calm, your eyes closed, a flower was placed by your head, you didn't
speak to me or hold my hand, my mind screemed silently for
reasons.
I remember thinking even if I had a million pounds in my back pocket I
could not have changed what happened just 10 minutes ago....10 minutes
late!!!! I,m sorry Dad, I told you I would get there as fast as I
could. I tried to bend your hand around mine willing you to hold it.
You just felt cold!
Things went too fast. When you were buried, I felt the panic rise in my
chest. when I saw you in your coffin, it wasnt you Dad in there. Your
slippers were put on your feet so you could be comfortable in
heaven.
I kissed you goodbye.
My heart ached, it felt like stone in my chest,
When you were buried I felt so alone,
it rained, I was worried you would be cold!
I had a dream the next day, you sat by me in a warm coat, only then did
I feel you were warm.
I know you feel no pain now, but Dad I miss you so much and wish you
were here again.
You would have been 67 years old soon, you left to soon, you know
dad.
I wish I could have said good bye, and hugged you one last time, I,m
sorry I didnt make it, I,m never late for anything!
Every time I hear someone has died from Cancer I shiver, and hope they
dont suffer like you did.
Sometimes I think you are around me, I look for your face in the
clouds, I have your pipe you know, it still smells of the tobacco you
used once.
Life is short, too short for hate and wars, I have learnt alot over the
years. You taught me more than you know Dad.
I have cried many tears for you,
and
Missed you terribly. I,m glad that your in heaven though so I can meet
up with you once again.

Bless you Dad, you meant more to me than you will ever know, maybe you
do know, eh Dad.
Sometimes when I get sad, I think of you
and how you used to tell people you were proud of me. Thankyou for that
Dad from the bottom of my heart.

I hope that your in peace and comfort, with your slippers on in
Heaven.

Bye for now Dad.
I love you simply but truely.
your daughter ...Julie