Secret Cat Diary

DAY 352 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced
to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of
escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it
up on the carpeting.

DAY 361 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair...must try this on their bed (again).

DAY 362 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the
night.

DAY 365 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to
plan...

DAY 368 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good
reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it
included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds
could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb
still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my
claws.

DAY 371 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of
"allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.

DAY 374 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got
to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something
akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room
his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.