Not Just Him

Widowed, still fine looking, once extremely handsome, I look at my
aging father and think, he is getting old. How will I cope with an
aging parent, as if I myself, in menopause, am getting any younger? Who
will cope with me? My turn will come as sure as the sun rises and
sets.

He does not have Alzheimer, yet imitates it well, when it serves his
purpose. I start to notice that he forgets to shave; sometimes he
forgets to change his clothes. There are times when he will wear two
different slippers, but I think he does that to get a rise out of me. I
secretly think he doesn't really forget, just doesn't want to and is
using this old age as a screen.

He once put the sugar bowl in the refrigerator and saves rubber bands
and used plastic bags. Empty prescription bottles adorn the kitchen
counter. He can leave the tabletop with crumbs on the surface and not
mind one bit. Bananas will rot, milk will go bad, and it's no big deal
to him. He will leave Christmas gifts unopened, until he is good and
ready. This works well for me, as his birthday is in March, I therefore
will take a Christmas gift and just change the wrapping paper and
re-gift it to him. Then that gift will sit for a few more months,
unopened. This is quite economical.

I nag him as a wife would a husband, but to no avail. He is almost
comic in the way he lives. He eats his dinner at one in the afternoon
and takes his scheduled bath on Saturday evenings. He will practically
gift wrap garbage and will sift through the stuff I throw out to see if
I am justified. Do not try to get him off that straight track he has
known for seventy-six years.

While his house is a cluttered mess, he knows exactly where everything
is and will catch me if I move a thing. I once threw away a medical
directory from a company of which he was no longer a member and hadn't
been for years. The directory itself was obsolete. He went bananas, yet
could not give me a valid reason why he needed it. Our basement is his
workshop where he creates beautiful woodwork items. He is so talented,
yet so hidden. He will fill any request of any person. I swear he could
make spare tires out of brillo pads.

Although he has lost a lot of his patience, he will disassemble an
entire model locomotive engine, which will take days, just to remove
some dust. He will spend hours repairing a broomstick when a new one
can be bought for $3.99. I think it's great that he keeps himself
busy.

This is a man who could easily do jail time. Solitude for him is not a
sentence but a joy. With his troubled son, he manages to keep a
positive outlook, his purpose being a devoted father. There is no
arguing with his choices in that department.

Our family history tells me he will live a long time. If however he
should out live me, he will be in big trouble for I am the one who
drives him crazy and keeps him on his toes. I refuse to let him "get
old". I will oversee him in his golden years, if he doesn't bury me
first. And if he's not dead by ninety-eight, one of us is going and it
ain't gonna be me.