I think it's amazing how kids survive child hood with their siblings! The fights, squabbles scrapes that they get into with each other. I remember always fighting with my Brother. I one day in our Teens one of us had the broom and the other had a chair facing each other, it like it could be extra nasty so I shouted for Mum, for if she came quickly into the room then neither of us would get hurt, she quickly came into room.
I also remember in my early twenties at work, one of the girls I worked with, came to work with what looked liked black eye make up around one of her eye it was the perfect circle, it couldn't have been any rounder! I asked her what had happened, she said, “Her Brother punched her!”
I have never forgotten what it is like to be a Teen and all the arguments my Brother and I had. My Husband said, he and his Sister was the same.
We have two kids, who did something, which I think is unusual, I have never done this, nor I don't think has my Husband and his Sister.
It started about three years ago. First one did it, and then the other, I don't know who started it first. I would buy them deodorant spray, as they didn't get lots of money. At first if one was angry with the other they would get the sibling's spray and waste it by spraying it, so if Daniel was angry with Amy he would use her spray and empty it all out into her room! Then she would go into his room when he was not there and do the same! It was a silly tit for tat, yet that is how many wars in the world start, small and then escalates and before you know it there is all out war and many don't even remember why they are fighting and how it started.
Then the kids turned it up a notch, they started spraying their aerosols that I'd bought them into each other faces!!!! Of course it would sting their eyes and I concerned would say, “Don't, its dangerous” but they wouldn't listen and would wait a few weeks and one of them would start and it would happen again. In total spraying in each other faces, I would say they did this about 5 times.
Last year I was getting ready to go to work, the kids as usual were arguing instead of getting ready for school. I was about to get in the bath when I heard the shouts getting out of hand, so instead of stepping into the bath, I went to tell them off, then from where I was standing I saw something that made my heart miss a beat and I felt like I was in slow motion, but I wanted to move fast, I was about 10 yards away from them, this was what I saw. Amy had the spray, it was a large one that she had bought herself for I had banned them from using them any more and had only instead buy them roll-ons which both of them hated, she held the spray and was spraying it 1” from Daniels nose! He was sitting on her legs on the sofa, I expected any second for him to drop down DEAD! I quickly yanked it from her hands and threw it in the bin I was shaking with fear, worried of the damage she could have just done to him, for I don't know how long she had been spraying it directly into in nose! Many people have died doing less. I went back in the bathroom, totally fed up with them both and breathing heavy with fear of what I'd just witnessed.
Amy soon followed me, crying her finger was bleeding, I said, “Is that what Daniel did to you?” Is that why you was spraying into his face, you could have killed him!” She said, “No, you did this” I didn't know what she meant. When I came out the bath she showed me her finger and explained how it got cut. This air freshener, the spray has a metal part at the top goes in, when it is pressed with the finger so when I yanked it holding it from the bottom the top part, metal cut her finger slicing it about about half an inch in length. It was like the skin was hinged on or it was like a flap. Clearly I didn't mean to do that, I would never dream of hurting my kids.
I put a plaster on but it bled through and quickly put a bigger plaster, getting the worst of the blood off under the tap first. What a morning! What a start to the day!! Kids!!!
Then I thought at work as the flap is SO deep, should I take her to the Doctors after school? Or just leave it, but would that be neglect if I left it and didn't get it seen to? I also thought of myself, would I get into trouble? Yet, the kids are teenagers they can both vouch for me exactly what happened, but I still toyed with the thought of taking her and not taking her to the Doctors in the end I decided to take her.
I didn't see my Doctor but we saw Doctor Nair instead, I had taken the spray out the bin and took it to the Doctors. I explained how the kids have both sprayed aerosols into each other faces and I had explained to them just how dangerous it was. I told him the full story of what had happened that morning and showed him the spray. Dr Nair was horrified! And said to Amy, “You mustn't do it!” it is very, VERY dangerous” Amy said to him, “He always does it to me, so I do it back to him.” Dr Nair said to her, “I have seen many people go blind, who have done that, please DON'T do it again!” I said to Dr Nair, “You are wasting your time, telling one and not the other, for Daniel will still do it, even if Amy stops from today. He said to Amy, “Tell your Brother to not do it,” and he also asked me to tell Daniel the importance of never doing it again! He then measured it, and took a picture of it, and the spray, then said something, I didn't expect. He said, “it will need stitching, take her now to Accident & Emergency!” I thought, “Oh no, that will take hours!”
I went home to tell my Husband and to get a book to read and a drink for Amy. As I walked in the house, the phone rang, it was Dr Nair, he asked to speak to me he informed me he had reported me to Social Services!!!!!!! I said to him, “Amy has told you herself that they sprayed into each other's faces and that I thought any second he would drop down dead! I still shudder when I think about it! Our lives wouldn't be the same without him. I was in shock, to say the least, yes he was right to always report child abuse, but this? I said, “So I should have left them, let her carry on spraying into his face, wouldn't that have been abuse on my part?” I felt betrayed, hurt and angry at him.
My Husband said he would come with us to the hospital with Amy and me. I was shaking, what would happen to us. We waiting for 90 minutes till it was our turn, the nurse who saw our Daughter, I told her the full story (in short) she looked at Amy's finger and said, “But why have you come here?” I told her we went to the Doctor and he told us to go to Accident & emergency, now to have it stitched!” She shook her head and said, “This does not need stitching, I can't believe a Doctor has sent you here!” She was nice and kind and put little strips of tape on Amy's finger and a finger cloth over it.
I knew NOTHING would make Daniel stop, but when I told him later that day that Dr Nair had reported me to Social Services, then what would happen next would be out of our control. I informed them both, first they had better tidy their bedrooms, then I said Social Services may come and take them away. They were both horrified! And said they would refuse to go, I told them they would have no choice. I also told them I could be in trouble with the police for child abuse! I thought a few times that day, and the days that followed, why had I intervened, and not just left them to it. My mind would wonder, would I loose my job over this, I have worked all my life. Would I end up now with a criminal record?
Every day we expected to see a letter arrive on or mat or when a knock at the door we thought it might be them, but that knock or letter never arrived.
We had to go to school about 4 months later, the Teacher ask us to go see her concerning Daniel, to do with something else, it was about his behaviour. The Teacher said to us that Social Services, ages ago and informed her about what had happened but this Teacher and the school knew us well enough to know it wasn't child abuse, and for her and the school, the matter was closed.
The kids never, ever sprayed again into each others faces, or rooms it took that to stop it.
We don't intend to see Dr Nair again!