So Who Shall I Be Today&;#063;

I return home from a long nights work ( a great suggestion for
stay-at-home-moms who are craving their independence. Of course, you
never sleep, but the world has never been an oyster.) It's yet another
snowy, icy day (far too cold to walk the dog of course) and so I settle
myself in front of the computer for yet the zillionth time. And
listen.....Who am I today?

Well, I know that I am the career-minded mom who enjoys her job a great
deal (tomorrow night will undoubtedly be different, but today is
payday), I know also that I am a very guilty animal-lover, for I have
not taken the dog for a walk in almost a week now. And yes, there as
always, is the proud and glowing mother as I watch my daughter laugh
and play. Today there is even the radiant wife, whom is head over heels
in love with her husband (today I will shop for a Valentines present,
so this is rather fitting.)

Ah, one of the many joys of being a writer. Today I am honest with
myself, tomorrow I may let my imagination run riot; perhaps I will be a
millionaire, or maybe Brad Pitts' new wife, I could try a jealous
spouse- plotting to kill my partners meddling ex, a super-model, a
dancer wild and free. Look at me, look at me!!

In the past I have won arguments when I have seriously lost them,
rectified situations in which I have embarrassed myself, magically
turned into someone else on numerous occasions (o.k for the reader this
may be a little hard to grasp), but the main thing is that, I can
choose these skins. As a writer, once I am in front of that keyboard/
notebook/ piece of scrap paper/ napkin snatched from a restaurant/
candy wrapper, or whatever it is that you or I choose to write on, I
CAN BE ANYONE I WANT TO BE.

There are times when I write articles that I know will be hurtful to
others, and so I write using different names. This also has plus points
in that it limits hate mail, saves you being bothered on the street
(being bothered on the street? Who Am I kidding?!), and drops the
chances of you being alienated from those that you love.

But the journal. Now that is truly the Queen of them all. In my journal
I don't have to listen, I can start writing to find who I am. There is
no need to strip away the layers, I can wear as many or as little as I
wish. In fact I don't even have to pick one character, I am me, at any
given moment. With all the glorious quirks and non-conformities that
come with being a real person.

I may even write 10, 15 or 20 pages and never find out who I am. It
doesn't matter. My journal does not judge me, or expect me to do
anything. I do not have to fit within any boundaries, or crunch myself
into conformities. I may never even read it again, it simply served a
purpose at that time.

Yup, when it comes down to it, my favorite me is the one in that
journal. I may never marry Brad Pitt, but at least I'm real and I know
that me better than anyone. There is not a single me within those pages
that I would not want to be....

...except maybe the one who keeps losing their Internet connection,
mid-flow....