Junebug

It was getting harder and harder to stay out of his way even when
Mama was in the room. If I walked past him too fast he might put his
foot out and trip me, he did that a lot. "What the hell's the matter
with you stupid can't you even walk without fallin' flat of your face?"
I used to think to myself, God I wish he was dead. I would lay awake at
night listening to the squeak of their bed through those paper thin
walls; thinkin' up ways to kill that bastard. It didn't matter how much
she would beg to be left alone; he would be on her anyway.

Odell ain't my real Daddy. My Mama met up with Odell when I was seven,
that was four years ago. She met him at the caf? where she worked. He
sweet talked her into leavin' Daddy and runnin off with him. She packed
up our clothes and we took off with Odell in the middle of the night.
"What the shit did you brang her with you for?" "I ain't goin' nowhere
without my Junebug were a package; I told you that from the beginning
now, are we goin' or not?" I cried myself to sleep in the back seat of
Odell's car; listening to them gigglin', and kissin' and feeling the
car swerve all over the road.

When I woke up we were in another state movin' into a house with this
crazy man who hated the sight of me. I started bawlin' again. Odell
grabbed me and with my hair wadded up in his fist; steered me to the
kitchen table, then slammed me down in a chair. "If you don't stop that
bawlin' I'm goin to whip your ass till your nose bleeds, and don't
thank your Mama's goin' to stop me neither, let her try and see what
happens." I snubbed for a few minutes and finally stopped cryin'. I was
afraid of what might happen to Mama if I didn't. I tried not to cry
around Odell again.

Things went from bad to worse. Mama couldn't find work and Odell was
drinkin' up everything he made at the tire shop. I tried to make myself
as invisible as I could so he wouldn't notice me. I stayed in my room
most of the time with the door locked. I started to school and tried to
be invisible there too it was in the middle of the school year; and
everybody already had their friends picked out. I didn't want no
friends nohow they might want to come home with me. Today when I got
home from school Mama was settin' at the table starin' out the window
she had been cryin'. When I asked her what was the matter? she said my
Daddy was dead, and not to tell Odell.

I started screaming at the top of my lungs. I was still cryin' when
Odell came in drunk as usual. "What did I tell you about bawlin'
Junebug don't you remember nothin' I tell you; what happened did some
kid at school kick your ass?" Mama shot me a look to keep my mouth
shut. "Answer me dammit." Odell said, kicking my chair out from under
me. I fell backward hitting my head hard on the floor. " Stop it Odell
leave her alone" Mama was trying to smooth things over and get him away
from me. "Come on in here baby, I'm fixin' to take a bath and I want
you to wash my back." That was all it took for him to leave me be. He
followed Mama into the bathroom.

I layed there on the floor my head hurt so bad I couldn't see straight.
I heard them gigglin', and talkin' sweet stuff to each other. I would
never see my Daddy again and it was their fault. If we hadn't run off
and left him, he would still be alive. I hated both of them. When I
stood up I had to grab the table because my legs were shakin' so bad, I
threw up all over the place and staggered into my bedroom to lay down.
I could hear the radio playing some old Kitty Wells song; and Mama
squealing with laughter at Odell trying to sing along. Next thing I
heard was a big splash and Mama saying, " Odell this tub ain't big
enough for both of us." I knew then what I was going to do. With my
Daddy being dead there was no hope for us. I would never see him again.
If Odell, found out that he was dead Mama would catch hell from him. He
would start beatin' her when he knew she couldn't run back to Daddy. I
opened the door to the bathroom; Odell, was laying on top of Mama in
the tub. They turned to look at me Mama said, " Junebug what are you
doing in here?" That's when I threw the radio into the bathtub it was
still plugged in. I stood and watched as the electric current went
through their bodies. Then I passed out.

I woke up and it was light outside. I went next door and told the
neighbors; there was something wrong at my house. My Mama, and Odell,
were in the bathtub when I went in there to pee this morning, and the
radio was in the water too. The neighbors called the police. Accidental
Death By Electrocution!!! the headlines read. Everybody was so sad that
I had lost my parents in such an awful way. Poor little girl. I cried
on cue just like I was supposed to. The police, got in touch with my
Grandma; she came and took me home with her. I think she knows what
happened. She knows how Odell treated me. Grandma, has never asked me
about it. If she does I'll tell her the truth. I doubt she ever will
though.