Happy Birthday

Dear Ma'ayan,
You're big, you've grown, you're in your teens,
You're shooting up like Jack's stalk of beans
Your shoes are getting too small for your feet,
You're sprouting zits the likes of which can't be beat
Your skin is getting oily and your hair as well,
You're putting on weight and you're starting to smell
Everybody hates you in school
You're the farthest you can get away from cool
You're a brat, you're a geek
You're a wimp, you're a freak
You're a dope, you're a nerd
You're a big pile of turd
You've turned thirteen
and you're gonna keep growing,
You're already miserable
and it's gonna keep going.
All my love, Ma'ayan, don't feel too blue,
And lots of luck (you'll need it too).
Love, Mei