Just Like Two Ships Passing in the Night

The circle of life has shined its spotlight on my Family. My
two-year-old daughter named Angela Rose is just beginning her journey
of life. Every day she's learning things we all take for granted. I'm
in big trouble now that she has learned the water from the garden hose
can actually be controlled by the little knob on the side of the house.
It's just amazing how our brains are so powerful and how they load up
on a plethora of information. Meanwhile, my 83-year-old Mother is named
Ann Rose, and couldn't tell you what she ate for breakfast. Actually,
she couldn't even tell you honestly if she had breakfast. The end of
her life is on the horizon. She was originally diagnosed as being
pleasantly confused, and now she's classified as having degenerated
dementia. She's headed quickly for the Alzheimer's word, with losing
all sense of understanding concepts relating to everyday life. It's
impossible to have an intelligent conversation. She wore a large
beautiful solid gold bracelet everyday for over 30 years. It was a
present from my Father and her initials A.R.K. are engraved within an
elaborate design on the face of the bracelet. As you may have noticed,
my daughter and Mother both have the same initials. At least until some
very sophisticated, educated, rich and acceptable gentleman marries
Angela. However, I'd welcome the idea of her living in a convent as
"Sister Angela". Getting back to the bracelet, a few weeks ago, my
Sister and I took the bracelet from my Mother. We were afraid she would
throw it out with the garbage one day. She doesn't even realize or care
about how the bracelet is no longer on her wrist. It's very sad and I
often ask myself why she's still living and does she have a purpose?
One answer lies in how she still is teaching me many lessons.
Our Country is thriving and prosperous due to our greedy materialistic
needs pushing us to constantly improve on products and services. I
think many of us have gone too far and the pendulum needs to swing back
towards appreciating simple pleasures in our world. "You can't take it
with you," has a greater meaning for me, as I witness my mother not
even caring about any processions. Another lesson is in compassion.
It's often awkward as roles become increasingly switched and I need to
act as the Parent to my Mother. I've also learned about how vulnerable
we all can become, and understand this when my Mother is overly
grateful for a routine visit to her home. Her eyes are smiling, yet I
also see an unspoken cry for comfort. Finally, a lesson in Humor is
always a welcomed topic. When visiting my Mother once, I was expressing
my frustration with forgetting where I had left my sunglasses. My
Mother's chuckled comment was "Join the club!" Although I didn't say
it, I was thinking I would like to postpone my membership indefinitely
into that type of club.

With Angela at the other end of the spectrum, she has also provided me
with many lessons. These are usually more unusual lessons that
generally provide me with a different way to view the world. As an
example, Angela has these twenty-six oversized letters of the Alphabet.
When playing with these letters and explaining each one, I noticed this
could be overwhelming with too many letters. I like the Hawaiian
language because it is so much more resourceful with only twelve
letters. I suggest we start by eliminating the letters X, Q, and Z.
These letters aren't used very much and for instance, we could replace
the letter Q with the letter S. This would mean the word physique would
become physisue. I even like the sound of how this would be pronounced.
Although my mother's gold bracelet will be a nice heirloom, it can't
begin to replace the memory of her finer years as they live in my mind.
It's too bad many generations from now won't be able to touch the
bracelet and have a short movie play in their head about my Mother's
life. There's an idea for the technology wizards of the world.

My Mother has moved to Kentucky to live with my Brother's Family.
During her final days in California, she was at our house playing with
Angela in the backyard. They were like two ships passing in the night.
Angela was too young to remember the moment, and my Mother forgot about
the day once the sun set. As I looked out the window and watched them
playing with Lego's by the kiddy pool, a vision came to my mind. I
pictured my Mother at two years old, and at the same time I pictured
Angela at 83 years old. It wasn't hard to imagine my Mother when she
was 2 years old, since she would of looked a lot like Angela. Likewise,
I won't be alive to see Angela at 83 years old, but as I looked at my
Mother I pictured Angela as this old woman. It was a nice thought
knowing they both had rich, fascinating lives and developed a solid
family and many strong friendships. They played along wonderfully with
Angela babbling in her own language and my Mother offering many
suggestions on how to play with the toys. The afternoon sun was setting
and the garden was in full bloom. It was a nice sight to see, and the
moment is etched in my memory bank. Then again, if my memory ever fads,
I suppose Angela may be looking out her window one day as I play ball
with her little boy.