Choosing the right partner

Choosing the right partner is a tricky one.

The first rule that we need to go behind when we choose our partners is related to how we live our lives and the level of ease we are dealing with it. We have some many aspects that undermine the way we proceed with decisions and our time is always involving creativity and innovation on doing our work better, building our motivations, finding ways to relax, co-op with our weaknesses, deal with people we akin to, deal with people we don't akin to, make plans for the future, prepare to be good family people, develop stability in our mental state of mind... This is a lot of work and nowadays the pace in which we are living in is too fast and difficult to embrace. Thereafter, being with someone in the same time that is also going through the hell-s and heaven-s of life is a peculiar merger we need to think about.

It is important to understand our own state of mind and in the same time to understand someone else's. The next stage will be to accept ourselves and be accepted, to accept someone else and make yourself acceptable. You wouldn't want to be with someone who will be another tough job to work for, to impress and fake-prove. You need someone who harmonically can accept you who you are and help you go through all the difficulties by knowing who you are, supporting your decisions and most importantly- knowing how to fix you when you need it! Nobody will have the mental power to work towards innovating themselves which involves a lot of confusion, mental preparation and decision-making process. The best partner to be next to you in moments when you really need someone to guide you, support you and knowing what is best for you.

 There is also a difference between knowing what is best for you and imposing it as a decree. "Why did you have to act like that for a whole week, hide my cigarettes and play games?" -"Sweetie, it is bad for you- you shouldn't smoke". You must understand the difference here. When a decision is being imposed to you from someone because they know it is good for you- does not involve consideration or any personal manner. It is purely decision made for you but not by you. This is cutting off little parts of your character and inherited practice of behaviour. And then after a while, year or so, you feel miserable with this person and you are irritated by yourself. Why? Because you know it is all good for you and what is good for you cannot be criticised, right?

Well, other species exist. Other people are out there, just like you. The infinite possibilities of different types of personalities and people is incredible and imposing enough freedom of making a choice in between. Empathically embraced, as much as you are, and ready to dive into someone's personality and understand it just how you understand yourself. People who will listen to you will do so just how your mum could listen to you. People who will give you straight forward advise without playing games. People who will give you such a feeling of harmony that you would never have to put up with the problems caused in a relationship. Why do we have to put -up in the first place. Yes, you are going to go through rough moments before creating a family but it is not supposed to be hard before you are doing so. If it is, don't make mistakes like going forward and wreck your life (which you already realise that you have partially ruined) but the life of your future kids. Be happy and let yourself be confident with whom you are and with who you are. Someone that you will brag about in front of your friends, not complain.  Someone that you will be proud of, not ashamed Someone you can't wait tell how your day was, not listen to his first. Someone who you love. This is where real love comes in and the feeling is astounding. Make sure you don't mistakenе it for pain.