White Male 18-55

White Male, 18-55

I was told to chase education almighty
To range handsomely and conquer Blighty
I was told that I had all this power
But I need reminding to have a shower

I wanted to buy a new futon bed
But the washer broke, mend that instead
Smooth, grey, metallic and rubber
Veins, spots, blotches, blubber

I wanted to cruise Amsterdam in a barge
But instead I must pay the big bank charge
Its rational, if you don't want debt don't borrow
Then the bank said 'spend today, pay tomorrow!'

I said 'don't take the piss, don't tantalise, don't tease'
Then the bank said 'please please please please please'
Capitalism gives you all these things
Like X and Y and Z, it brings

You closer to the Devil and at the same time God
You lucky, lucky, lucky sod
Tantalising, the tales of material salvation
And leafy suburban exclusive location

But instead I look forward to a damp cardboard box
With stains on my jumper and ladders in my socks
Politician said 'if you complain choose Marx instead'
So I pulled out my pistol and shot him dead

Most bookworms hit jackpot when they come of age
But others stink of oily twisted fever and rage
Think of Adolf or Lee Harvey, blessed but somehow deprived
Like me, a white male 18-55

White Male II: Wild Boar

What you see in magazines and on TV
Shouldn't be them, it should be me
Don Trump is a slimy self-satisfied arrogant bore
So why am I so fucking poor?

Or poor J-Lo, talentless, vacuous, fickle
But 'Latin', oppressed like the hammer and sickle
Ice-T, vulgar, malevolent, spreading hatred
But from 'The Ghetto', so 'to be congratulated'

Where is my penthouse, my silk sarong
Where is my six-pack, my twelve foot schlong
Where is my Porsche, my Ferrari, my Suv
Where are my lackies to call me guv

Decency, respect, peace of mind
As you age you get to find
These elusive things, painful to have learned
They are bought, never earned