OFFICAL PRESS RELEASE FROM UNITED STATES CYBER COMMAND 1/19/18

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE FROM UNITED STATES CYBER COMMAND 1/19/18

To all news organizations:

This is an official communication from the United States Cyber Command. USCYBERCOM is a Subordinate Unified Combatant Command of U.S. Strategic Command created in 2009 at the National Security Agency (NSA) headquartered in Ft. Meade, Maryland.

Please read the contents of this Official Press Release in its entirety, since as expected, there is some bad news to be delivered before the good news. The bad news is for the past twenty-six years a United States Navy Captain has been trapped in economic confinement within his own country and been unable to communicate with the American People through any media outlets despite thousands, we say again thousands, of attempts to do so. In order to notify the American People that the United States Navy and all of its ships and personnel had been seized in an ongoing and service-wide Treasonous Mutiny led by former President George H. W. Bush and continuing with former President Bill Clinton and President George W. Bush that threatened the continued existence of the Republic itself through control of our capital ships, battleships and aircraft carriers. And that individuals hostile to freedom, world peace and the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution and the continuation of the homo sapiens species, had used these vessels to carry out atrocities against people in your name in foreign countries out of sight of land, including the airborne massacre of tens of thousands of retreating Iraqi troops during the 1991 Persian Gulf War and the systematic sex trafficking throughout Asia since the end of the Second World War. And these crimes took place over a twenty-six-year period that paralleled the so-called Information Age, during which time broadband internet access was made available in 80% of American home, the number of television sets rose to be 2.93 sets per household and Facebook grew to have 2.07 billion monthly users. All without so much as a single news article about what these individuals were doing with your military vessels.

This officer’s attempts to communicate with his fellow Americans included writing a sequel to Homer’s Iliad and Odyssey combined in a single book called Apollo’s Arrow completed in 2006, that he could not find a publisher for or even a literary agent to represent the book for over ten years, and could not afford the self-publishing fee required by Google to self-publish the book due to the economic circumstances of not being able to secure investment for his renewable energy business Hestia Home Biogas, which would completely replace fossil fuels as an environmentally-friendly energy alternative to coal, oil and fossil natural gas despite hundreds, we say again hundreds, of contacts with potential investors, including such self-appointed luminaries as Al Gore, Vinod Khosla and Elon Musk and even being eliminated from Shark Tank 30 days before being set to film his episode. Ultimately putting him in a situation during his self-funded energy research in Alaska on the Fourth of July, 2004 where he was confronted at close quarters by an Alaskan brown bear where had the bear decided to attack scientists estimate he would have had 55 one-hundredths of a second to fire the shotgun in his hands before being hit by the bear with an impact with the equivalent moment of being stuck by a locomotive engine traveling at 20 mph while maintaining possession and control of the weapon for reloading. Putting the United States of America an estimated 55 one-hundreds of a second from ceasing to exist. Neither the bear or this American officer were injured in the encounter and he has received the Congressional Medal of Honor for his fire discipline during this encounter. We would like all Americans to consider that number, 55, as a reminder of how close this was, and to be aware that the difference was not a group of people or even multiple people, but a single individual and that individual was a US Navy Captain named Captain Warren Weisman. And he is affectionately known as Captain Wort, which is his call-sign as a fighter pilot, which comes from King Arthur’s nickname as a child and serves to keep the boy wonder, a consummate chatterbox with whom you will never be at a shortage of stuff to write about, humble.

Captain Wort is the world’s foremost authority on Linguistic Warfare and was able to identify the psychological and subliminal causes for the Holocaust from Adolf Hitler’s book Mein Kampf as part of a project called the iForgot Holocaust Memorial Project which he was working on, of which the staged events of September 11, 2001 were a part of. We repeat, the 9/11 Attacks as you all call them, did not occur as advertised in your news organizations records, they did not occur at all and we are asking all scientists in the history, anthropology and paleontology fields to investigate all news events since the end of the Second World War to realign the facts with the historical record and to organize local, alternative print media news outlets for all people around the world as competing sources of information to regular daily newspapers and that television and the internet no longer be considered sources of information and for education and entertainment purposes only, beginning with PBS being Channel 6 everywhere in the world as soon as those in the television industry read this message and that no-one be credentialed as a journalist who cannot read and write at a 12^th Grade English comprehension level, as example would be being capable of using Soren Kierkegaard or Joseph Campbell in conversation on demand. As illiteracy was root case of both the Holocaust and the Bush-McCain Mutiny, there will be worldwide all-expenses paid education to the 12^th Grade English comprehension level beginning as educators read this message, and the funding for that will be made available to your local school districts. This all-expenses paid will include free health care and dental, housing and a monthly cash payment available through your local governments. All transportation, including interstate air, rail and sea travel will be free for everyone to use and maintained monitored for safety by the Federal Government beginning when the relevant agencies read this message.

The iForgot Holocaust Memorial Project will conclude with the burial at sea of Adolf Hitler’s remains from the deck of USS Independence with US President Obama and German Prime Minister Merkel presiding with the Hitler Family, which will end the age of superstitious ignorance and replace it with the light of pure reason through scientific examination. After which the actions of individuals will no longer be associated with their family names or individual or family biology, as the historical comparison that will naturally be drawn between Adolf Hitler and Captain Wort will always demonstrate the impact, both positive and negative one individual will always be able to make in the lives of all others. Captain Wort will be receiving the Congressional Medal of Honor for his efforts and will be present as commanding officer of USS Independence during the burial at sea of Adolf Hitler, but the message we would like to convey to all people of the world on behalf of all those who have served or are serving in the military is that no military officer regardless of rank should ever, under any circumstances, be confused with the authority of that vested in the President of the United States by the American People through the United States Constitution, which is the living document that all servicemembers have sworn an oath to uphold and defend with their lives, if necessary, to ensure the common good of all freedom loving and truth seeking peoples around the world. Military rank is never an indicator of anyone’s intrinsic value, it is simply an organizational tool used by groups of highly diverse, freedom-oriented individuals with widely different skills and experience in order to function efficiently and quickly during emergencies, after which time rank is no longer necessary and the group returns to functioning as equals.  

Adolf Hitler’s burial at sea on USS Independence will be televised live on PBS 6 and attended by a select group of journalists from the major news outlets. This ceremony will be Captain Wort’s final act as a US Naval Officer before retirement and returning to Seattle on Indy for America’s first ever state wedding to his beautiful new muse wife-to-be, which you will all be invited to watch televised live on PBS 6. We would like to take this opportunity to make you all aware the Captain has not seen his wife-to-be in almost six years, they met on April 20, 2012 in order to demystify Adolf Hitler’s birthday, but were then only able to visit with for a couple of hours and it was done under cover of darkness in an undisclosed location and they were not even permitted physical contact due to the security situation he was in. Therefore, as Captain and the future Mrs. Weisman become the two most recognizable faces in the world through their films and public appearances, we are asking all people around the world to please extend to them Old Fashioned American hospitality and the courtesy of respecting their time together in public, as they are finally able to enjoy the fruits of liberty this great young nation has to offer and live out the ordinary life they have always dreamed of together on a front porch swing in Seattle somewhere and starting a family of their own together with Captain Wort’s son from a previous marriage while he was stationed at NAS Whidbey Island in Washington State, Wyatt, who is ironically enough, older than his new muse wife-to-be, which will be fun for them and a great area for you all to kid him about if you get the chance. And not speaking to Captain and Mrs. Weisman unless they speak first as a time consideration, since the Captain has no OFF switch when it comes to talking to people, and then please no electronics use around them due to the future Mrs. Weisman’s sensitivity to electronic emissions which is related to her training as a muse wife is the courtesies we’re asking the American people for which are of course legally unenforceable, but we are hoping the journalistic community would be so kind as to lead by example as the best way to demonstrate any thanks towards the Captain and his muse wife and allowing them to live as normal of a life as everyone else enjoys.

And in return for those simple courtesies we can assure you all there will never be any shortage of creative material coming out of the two of them, including a dozen feature films already written through their independent arthouse film production studio called Broke Helix, the slogan of which is “Films that don’t suck.” One of which will be about the events surrounding the iForgot Project and the dissipation of the Linguistic Warfare phenomenon that led to it called the Oblivion Tangent called ZION, which will be a continuation of the Star Trek series into the Fifth-Dimension where our universe is only one of several in a Multiverse, as postulated by physicist Stephen Hawking of course. As well as a film about NASA’s efforts to have humans be the first species to set foot on another planet, the one we call the Moon, called SUMMER OF ’69. And the first advertisement for SUMMER OF ’69 is already in the can, as they say in show biz, and will drop on their wedding day, which will be determined by how quickly you all can get the word out, as will the movie posters for all the others which will be viewable on the aircraft elevator where the journalists will board USS Independence by the F-14 Tomcat Gunfighter 806 which will have Captain Warren “Wort” Weisman on the front cockpit and his pet name for the future Mrs. Weisman on the rear cockpit which we won’t share to build some suspense for the girls. And then the first film they do together will be about World War II destroyer captains fighting German U-Boats in the frigid waters of the North Atlantic called TIN CANS, which will also have Captain Weisman’s brother, Mark Weisman, in it as a supporting role on the Captain’s ship as Chief Petty Officer Hobbes. The Captain and future Mrs. Weisman will also be doing an hourly TV series on PBS called “The Last Laugh” of course, which will feature some of the drawers full of t-shirts and memes he has for your all as well as his US Navy Top Gun God’s Boss coffee cup that functions as his aircraft carrier identification card, but will also have some serious stuff in it. And then their first public appearance after their wedding, whenever that is, will be on Sesame Street together, where the future Mrs. Weisman will explain how uniforms function to protect the wearers in life threatening situations so they can go home at the end of the day and live normal lives like everyone else. The Broke Helix website with media contact information will drop on wedding day as well, and the US Navy will continue to provide public relations support for any media contacts through that website and be funding the production of TIN CANS, including the complete reproduction of USS Independence (CV-62)’s namesake World War II carrier USS Independence (CVL-22), which will then serve as a floating museum that will be free and open to the public as part of the film publicity following production. And for clarification, the CVL-22 reproduction does not have any parts on it from the original CVL-22 which was used in nuclear weapons testing and intentionally sunk in 1951, so the US Navy would like to deploy this new reproduction as a floating museum to put to rest America’s inglorious detour into nuclear weaponry and use the new CVL-22 to reintroduce these marvels of modern science that won the war that determined the species survival.  

So, thank you all for your cooperation in advance, please speak to your local first responders and educators if you have any questions and we look forward to seeing you all celebrating wildly at the upcoming homecoming festivities in San Diego for Captain Wort and USS Independence and then up in Seattle for the Captain’s wedding to his beautiful muse wife he has waited so long to finally get to spend time with together for America’s first ever state wedding, and we wish President Obama all the best in his attempts to steal the world’s attention back to that little white house back East somewhere.

Journalists, you may contact us via email at Gunfighter806@gmail.com, we use free, public email addresses to have the same access to the internet as the American public. Email will be screened by humans before being passed along to Captain Wort's command staff, he is every much looking forward to connecting with you all and we all look forward to reading your quality reporting in 2018 and seeing the great art that will emerge as a result of universal paid education. The US Navy, USCYBERCOM and all other US Government agencies are going to neither confirm nor deny anything in this email, we’re going to be relying on you to check it out at the ground level with primary sources and verify its authenticity to the American People as we have always done. USCYBERCOM