Subconscious

I look back and I see,
I'm not what I used to be,
So many things have changed,
Life's completely rearranged,
I take a hit and I fall down,
I get back up off the ground,
I'm standing here waiting,
You're all debating,
I'm done with this,
Take a swing you'll miss,
I'm flying too high,
Farther than I,
Have ever been,
I fall and then,
Come back up to you,
Wait for you to do,
The only things you know,
The only things I show,
Are my emotions for them,
Each one forming new stem,
Now I'm gonna go away,
Maybe just for a day,
Maybe for a year,
Will you still be here?
I'm not coming back,
Not until I lack,
You, the thing I want,
Continue to haunt,
My thoughts and dreams,
You're my life it seems,
Wait for me if you care,
Or I'll just see you there,
Whatever you wish for,
You've touched my core,
And become everything,
All for that I sing,
I feel as if I must protect,
What's this thing I detect,
I think it is a hint,
Essence of your scent,
I feel you next to me,
Where you used to be,
I reach to touch you,
Like I used to,
But you're not there,
You don't care,
Now I'm lost for good,
Help me if you would,
I felt you as you went,
You know what I meant,
Nothing stays the same,
All that's left is my name,
Correct me if I'm wrong,
For you I wrote a song,
That you said you loved,
Now I'm pushed and shoved,
Down the tubes of this,
I remember your kiss,
I knew it meant nothing,
Why then did I sing?
It felt so right,
That entire night,
Now I'll never see it again,
I'm back to where I begin,
I'll see you on the other side,
Where we don't have to hide,
Where things have changed,
And been rearranged,
But for the better not the worse,
Where life's good, not a curse,
It all will be good again,
I'll take a sip of it there then,
And relax as I fade,
And we'll lose all our jade,
Smiles come back to,
All of those who,
Have lost theirs,
Over the years,
And want them back,
Realize what they lack,
It's their soul,
It's their whole,
It's their love,
The gift from above,
It's gone for good,
Like burnt wood,
You can't do this again,
Not after it's happened then,
This is your chance,
Take it and dance,
Never forget to remember,
Love lost is cold as December.