UNDER SURVEILLANCE

UNDER SURVEILLANCE.

Back and forth,she rocked.Her eyes locked on the green carpet in front
of her.Light spilled out from behind the doorframe.Alone,she
pondered.

Pondering was dangerous.Pondering led to dangerous things.

Her eyes were blurry and damp and the green carpet transformed itself
into a monster.But this girl didnt care.She was inside her head,her
mind.Away from reality and her surroundings.

This is the place she could calm herself down in.Drown in her
misery.Some people turned to drugs,others drank but she liked to
think.Thats was all.It was free and she wasnt hurting anyone.

Everyday she would find her corner.Her corner in her little blue
room.With its walls choking her.But she could handle it.
Close her eyes and it would be okay.

"Big girls dont cry",and with that thought she was transported back to
2nd class.
The way teachers couldnt control her.The way she couldnt contol
herself.She never grew out of that habit.

She leaned over,and pulled her penknife out of her back pocket.It slid
across her fingers like a feather.What damage it had done in the
past.Something so small.But so powerfull.She had had the knife since
6th class.

Back then she just cut herself for fun.Scare some people in school who
thought they were better than her.She showed them.How she had smiled
when the blood trickled down her arm,flowing past her elbo.she had been
satisfied with their looks of confusion.

But now,all alone she did it to please herself.To give in to her
emotions and just cut them away from her.And it worked too.Magic knife
it was.

Magic.